Having three kids means I’ve encountered my fair share of terrible parenting advice. You know the kind—lists that make parenting sound like a walk in the park, filled with tips that don’t work and leave you feeling like you’re doing everything wrong. Sometimes, I wonder if these lists are penned by folks who have never changed a diaper. So, let’s get real. Here’s my no-nonsense list of baby tips that might actually help.
- Let’s be honest—baby pajamas with buttoned crotches are the worst invention ever. Save yourself the headache and get zip-up PJs instead.
- Babies cry, pee, poop, and occasionally spit up. That’s their gig. Embrace it, and know that your little one is perfectly normal.
- Pro tip: Baby boys will pee on you during diaper changes. Just keep your mouth shut and prepare for the inevitable.
- The first diaper change post-solid foods? It’ll smell like something out of a horror film. Have a light lunch that day.
- Avoid wearing black at all costs. Spit-up and boogers stand out like neon signs on dark clothes.
- New parents often think bouncing their baby will induce smiles—until the inevitable vomit happens.
- Remember, doctors won’t prescribe anything for kids under 2, so save those urgent care visits for real emergencies.
- If your baby has a blowout, just toss the outfit. Seriously, it’s not worth the fight to clean it.
- People will have opinions on the “cry it out” method. Ignore them and trust your instincts. You’ll figure it out.
- If someone gives you grief about how you feed your baby, it’s time to reconsider that friendship. In a few years, they’ll be munching fruit snacks off the floor anyway.
- Sometimes, babies cry for no reason. When that happens, put them in their crib for a moment and grab some cookies. You’ll feel better, trust me.
- Out of ideas? Just lie on the floor and let them crawl over you. It’s the closest you’ll get to a massage for a while, and they’ll think it’s the best thing ever.
- When asked which parent the baby resembles, just shrug. Newborns look like squishy aliens anyway.
- If you just had a baby, it’s perfectly okay to silently roll your eyes at non-parents whining about being tired.
- Watch out! Babies have sneaky little hands that will grab hair, lips, and eyelids with surprising strength.
- There’s a fleeting moment when your baby can sit up but not crawl. Appreciate it; it’s the best parenting phase ever.
- Strangers will touch your baby without asking. It’s totally fine to kindly tell them to back off.
- Your baby now runs the show. Forget about your job, sleep, or being on time—just roll with it.
- Ditch pants with a real waistband. After nights of little sleep, jeans and belts feel like shackles.
- The secret to surviving babyhood? Caffeine. Embrace it and drink it like it’s your lifeline.
Of course, there are more tips out there, but this list should get you started. If you have your own gems of wisdom, please share them in the comments below. Remember, it truly takes a village to raise a child.
And if you want more insights, check out our post on intracervical insemination. For authoritative advice on baby-making, visit Make A Mom. And if you’re looking for resources about pregnancy and home insemination, IVF Babble is a fantastic site to explore.
Summary
Parenting is tough, but these 20 practical tips can help you navigate the chaotic world of baby care. From diaper changes to sleep schedules, embracing the reality of having a baby can make the experience a little easier. Always remember, it takes a village, and you’re not alone in this journey!