I thought I had time all figured out before I became a parent. I was the queen of calendars, the ruler of schedules, and time was my loyal servant. Little did I know, it was just waiting to rebel!
Once the kids arrived, life revolved around the clock: mealtimes, bath times, playtimes, and the ever-elusive naptime. I quickly learned that if I didn’t plan my day around these crucial moments, we’d all be in trouble. My eldest thrived on structure; she counted down the “how many sleeps” until the next big event. Meanwhile, my youngest was more of a spontaneous spirit, believing sleep was a buzzkill to all the fun.
Navigating these two extremes felt like a cosmic joke designed to unravel me. Toddlers live in a time warp. You should never, ever mention an upcoming event to a small child more than five minutes in advance. Their excitement is explosive. “When do we see Santa? Is it time yet? Can it be time now?” If you casually drop a mention of Christmas in October, brace yourself for a three-month countdown, repeated ad nauseam.
Minutes take on a new meaning; they become mere grains of sand in an hourglass, which, incidentally, is now being tipped and shaken by tiny, sticky hands. As you try to manage your time, you find yourself saying, “Just a minute, honey,” while on the phone, or, “For goodness’ sake, in a minute!” while in the bathroom.
I once found myself in a long line at the post office, balancing six hefty boxes of Christmas gifts and a wiggly toddler. Of course, she decided she had to go potty—after we had already left home. “Can you wait a minute, sweetheart?” I asked, only for her to interpret that as “now,” resulting in a very unfortunate accident all over the counter.
Parenting is packed with “now” moments. From the very start, we’re thrust into a whirlwind of immediate needs: eat now, sleep now, labor now! Babies want to be comforted now; little ones demand attention right this second. As soon as they learn to talk, they’re shouting, “Watch me! Are you watching? Look what I can do!” It’s utterly exhausting. Some days you find yourself wishing time would speed up—bedtime can’t come soon enough! If only they could be more independent, walk, and talk faster! Yet, on those magical days filled with snuggles and laughter, you wish you could press pause.
Then come the moments of delay. As kids grasp the concept of time, you’d think things would get simpler, but no! Instead, they begin to hand you their own time schedules, complete with “five more” tacked onto everything. “Time for bed!” becomes “Five more minutes?” “Time for dinner!” turns into “Five more minutes; I’m almost done!” You find yourself wishing they’d hurry up—how long can it take to finish a bowl of cereal, find their shoes, or walk to the car? You’re late yet again to school, practice, or life itself.
And then there are the “later” moments. Teens live in their own world of delayed responses. “When will you take out the trash?” “Later.” “Have you done your homework?” “I’ll do it later.” “What’s your plan for college visits?” “Can we talk about that later?” Their time becomes theirs and their friends’, leaving less and less for you. The “now”s morph into “whenever”s. It’s rare to hear a shout of “Watch me!”—more likely, they prefer solitude and distance. Yet, you find yourself anxiously checking the clock when they’re out late, hoping they’ll share their worries and heartbreaks. Ironically, with fewer demands on your time, it feels like time is speeding by. The days are long, but the years are fleeting.
As I edge closer to the empty nest, I’m reminded of how I used to wear a watch. My oldest turns 20 this week—an age that feels unfathomable. All those “now”s, “hurry up”s, and “later”s seem like they happened both yesterday and eons ago. Suddenly, all I want is to pause. Just a moment! Five more minutes? But alas, time marches on, indifferent to our desires.
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In summary, while parenting is a chaotic dance with time, filled with moments of urgency, delays, and eventual independence, it’s also a journey that makes you appreciate every second.