I’m a mom of three, which means I’ve encountered a diverse group of other mothers, some older, some younger, each with their own unique parenting philosophies. Our styles range from ultra-strict (my kids would say I fall into this category) to laid-back. Some indulge in a cocktail or two while others maintain a pristine lifestyle. We may all have different approaches, but we universally agree on two key points: 1) We absolutely don’t want to raise little tyrants, and 2) it’s incredibly challenging to avoid it.
We instruct, we guide, and we aim to model positive behavior—only for our kids to flip the script and repeat the very mistakes they just got in trouble for. Kids aren’t programmed to be perfect; they come into this world ready to demand what they want, when they want it. Each day, parents everywhere strive to curb their kids’ inner brat, and they face several hurdles along the way:
You Had a Stellar Day Yesterday, Now You’re Wiped Out.
Yesterday was a win for me. I was fully present, put my phone away, baked, crafted, played on the floor, taught lessons, cleaned, and ended up losing a game of Risk to my 9-year-old. Today, however, I’m running on empty. So when I hear my son ask Siri if she’s going to the bathroom, I might conveniently tune out while scrolling through my friend’s latest dating adventures on social media with a glass of wine in hand. I wish I could be “on” all the time, but that’s just not realistic.
We Can’t Monitor Their Every Move.
Let’s be real: we can’t observe our kids every second. Despite telling them I have eyes in the back of my head, the truth is, I don’t. Even if I shout, “If you act like a jerk, I’ll hear about it,” I might miss it entirely. Sometimes, it’s actually beneficial when another adult catches them in the act. It seems to hold more weight than when I address it myself. Do I ignore my kids in hopes that someone else will step in? Not usually, but when they get called out by another adult, it often snaps them back into line.
We Give In for the Sake of Survival.
I know the “perfect” parents would never admit to this, but I’m not one of them. There are times I relent and buy that stuffed animal, oversized ice cream, or giant ball just to make it through the day without losing my cool. Sure, sometimes they don’t deserve it, but the alternative feels overwhelming. We all make choices to preserve our sanity and navigate the day ahead. This might mean trudging through Target with a bear larger than me while my child joyfully slurps on an Icee and I’m just trying to grab groceries without having a meltdown.
They Face Temptation.
Kids see other children behaving badly and think, “Hey, that looks fun!” They might grab an extra handful of mints on the way out of a restaurant because they saw someone else do it. Or perhaps they’re feeling neglected and decide to decorate themselves with your makeup instead of letting you know. Kids are constantly bombarded with tempting distractions, and they often lack the self-control to resist. In the moment, they’re thinking about the immediate fun rather than the consequences—classic kid behavior.
You’re Under the Weather.
Trying to parent while feeling unwell is the worst. The kids quickly realize they can get away with all sorts of mischief while you’re laid up on the couch. They might unleash their inner wild child, finger painting the walls or attempting to bathe the dog while wearing your jewelry. By the time you recover, you’re usually just grateful to have survived and often find yourself treating those little mischief-makers to ice cream or a movie for the guilt of not being on top of things.
They’re Having a Rough Day.
We all have off days, and kids are no exception. There are moments when I’d rather procrastinate than tackle mundane chores, so I understand when they act out. If kids could explain their behavior by saying, “I just needed a break before I tackle my assignments,” they’d come off as little tyrants.
Every child has their moments of mischief, and every parent is trying their best to avoid raising a brat. So, the next time you witness a mini tornado of chaos, remember that those parents are likely doing their best—or at least they were yesterday, and they’re just really worn out. And let’s be honest, at least it’s not your little tyrant causing the ruckus this time.
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