Lately, there’s been a growing conversation about the decline of playdates, with some folks like DadNCharge claiming it’s “killing the spontaneity of childhood.” They argue that playdates are too structured, suggesting that they imply organized activities and predetermined “dates” based on parental preferences. Mostly, this sentiment seems to stem from nostalgia for simpler days when kids could just hop on their bikes to visit friends or go exploring in creeks.
The reality, however, is that my kids aren’t able to cycle to friends’ houses. For starters, they’re under 7, and secondly, we don’t have any buddies nearby who are within biking distance. Sure, I’d love for them to go on adventures, like poking at dead fish in a creek, but finding a creek where no one complains about trespassing is a challenge. Most moms I know wouldn’t mind a bit of fish poking; we’re just short on suitable locations.
Enter the modern playdate. It often begins with my child expressing a desire to play with a friend, and even though I have my preferences, I won’t arrange a playdate with a kid who tends to be rough with him. Once I find a willing mom, we agree on a time and location. If it’s at our home, I find myself in a cleaning frenzy the day before, determined to hide the evidence of our chaotic lives—like the Lego explosion in the living room or the styrofoam snow created by my toddler. When the other mom arrives with her child in tow, it’s like a mini celebration. My kids dash off to engage in their imaginative play, whether they’re pirates or space cowboys, creating a delightful mess in the process.
This arrangement has fantastic benefits. My child gets to socialize, and as a homeschooled kid, he craves these connections. Even kids in traditional schools only get a limited amount of time to hang out, so these playdates become essential. My son appreciates having choices about who he plays with, and when he asks, “When can we see so-and-so again?” it’s my cue to reach out to another mom and set it up.
Most of our playdates take place at home, especially during this scorching weather that makes outdoor activities less appealing. While home playdates can be a double-edged sword—great for the mom escaping her clutter but a nightmare for the one who has to clean—they also offer much-needed social interaction. Plus, let’s be honest, we all need an excuse to tidy up a bit, don’t we?
When the kids finally arrive, it’s pure joy. They’re ecstatic to reunite, and the little siblings often join in the fun. As they immerse themselves in play, I’m left alone with another adult, which can feel like a breath of fresh air. Resist the urge to cling to that adult for dear life; instead, brew some coffee or pour a glass of red wine. You can chat about anything—from the joys of parenting to your favorite tunes from the ’90s. You might even find yourselves reminiscing about the music of the 2010s while you both wonder where the time has gone.
With playdates, you have another adult to converse with for a couple of hours. Unless you’re a selective mute (and no judgment here), this is a golden opportunity. You don’t need to fuss over snacks or fret about your messy kitchen, though you probably will. You could even sneak in an episode of Stranger Things while the kids are preoccupied. Playdates symbolize freedom, my friends. Remove my playdates, and you’re taking away my essential mom time.
And if the other mom has any sense, she’ll make her child help clean up before they leave. Don’t worry about admitting that the room was already a disaster; let her join the cleanup crew—because who doesn’t love a little teamwork?
In conclusion, playdates are fantastic for both kids and moms. They provide an escape from the daily grind and foster connections that are so vital in our lives.
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