As I watch my vibrant 4-year-old daughter, Ava, navigate her world, she’s often torn between being a fierce ninja battling villains or a magical princess constructing castles with a flick of her wrist. In her eyes, both are incredibly powerful and inspiring. She radiates confidence like a dazzling rainbow cape, and my main job is to protect that spark. So far, so good (send help if things change).
Fast forward many years, and my bold, self-assured Ava will enter the realm of dating. She may meet boys—some of whom might try to dim her shine. While I believe in allowing her to make her own choices (both wise and otherwise), I also want to arm her with essential tools to help her navigate relationships and recognize when something feels “off.”
So, dear Ava, when you eventually dip your toes into the dating pool, here are some tools to keep in your back pocket:
- He should treat you like royalty. This is non-negotiable. You should feel like the most valued person in the room, not an afterthought or a forgotten text message.
- Remember, “too nice” can be fake. He should also be honest with you, even when it’s hard to hear.
- Trust your instincts, not your hormones. Hormones can lead you astray, but your gut will never lie.
- If he tries to isolate you from friends or family, get out of there! Call an Uber and don’t look back.
- You want to be laughing into your 90s, right? If he doesn’t make you laugh now, chances are he won’t in the future either.
- He needs to own his mistakes. Apologies should flow both ways—let’s practice that, okay?
- If he constantly questions your loyalty, there’s likely a reason for it. His phone might be locked for a purpose.
- His priority should be your pleasure. If he’s more focused on his own, it’s a red flag.
- Date a variety of people. You might be surprised by who makes you feel most alive.
- Conversations should flow easily. You should be able to talk for hours about anything and everything.
- If he can laugh at himself when he messes up, keep him around. It shows maturity.
- Your body is your own. No one should dictate what you do with it.
- Observe how he treats his mother. That’s a good indicator of how he’ll treat you. And pay attention to how his dad treats her too; it can shape his future relationships.
- If you feel worse about yourself around him, it’s time to run.
- Get what you deserve. Always.
- If he plays games, he’s not worth your time. Move on, little boy.
- And please, don’t play games yourself. If he’s not your cup of tea, let him go kindly.
- Avoid dating your friends’ exes. Even if they say it’s fine, it’s probably not. You’ll want your friends around for the inevitable Magic Mike sequels!
- When you’re ready to settle down, think about where you want to be in 50 years. Does he fit into that vision? Does he make you laugh until you snort? And seriously, does it matter if he has hair or not?
I’m sure I’ll add to this list as the years fly by before you start dating, but this is a solid foundation. My ultimate aim is to ensure that no one tries to make you feel less than the incredible person you are. And if they could somehow get you to eat your veggies, that would be a bonus!
For more insights on preparing for parenthood and relationships, check out this privacy policy from our other blog posts.
In summary, equip yourself with confidence and self-respect as you navigate the world of dating. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift you and ensure your happiness. Always trust your instincts and remember that your worth is not up for negotiation.