Last night, my kids decided that sleep was overrated, waking up five times between them. I stripped the bed, washed the linens, refilled bottles, and yes, even cleaned the carpet (don’t ask). There were snuggles requested and complaints galore. Apparently, between 2 and 5 a.m., the threats of dehydration and loneliness feel all too real. Who knew?
In the end, I managed to snag a few fragmented hours of sleep, even after hitting the hay early. No one was sick, teething, or in pain; it just happened. And let me tell you, it was exhausting.
The truth about nights like these is that they can be incredibly isolating, no matter how common they are. Even if you have a partner to share the load, it often feels like the rest of the world is blissfully unaware of your struggles. Outside, the streetlights shine brightly while your neighbors’ homes remain dark, their peaceful snores a painful reminder of your kids’ relentless whining. In those moments, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing at this parenting gig. Why is it always me? With one kid in preschool and the other deep into toddlerhood, I thought sleepless nights were a thing of the past. Guess not.
As a new mom, I received plenty of well-meaning advice to get me through the haze of sleep deprivation. Trust me, my kids tested my limits. I was constantly reassured that this phase of life would pass quickly and that sleepless nights would soon be forgotten. When you’re in the thick of it, you cling to those words like a life raft. But, let’s be real: they often feel like mere platitudes. By the time you realize it, you’re a fire-breathing dragon, complete with crazy hair, smudged makeup, and morning breath that could knock you out. It’s all part of the journey. You’re still fabulous, and a hot shower paired with strong coffee can work wonders.
The people sharing these empty words either had surprisingly easy kids (rare, but it happens), have conveniently forgotten their own struggles (who can blame them?), or simply refuse to acknowledge the truth (no one’s buying that act). The hard truth? The “phase” they’re talking about is actually parenthood, and sorry, you’re already knee-deep in it. There’s no escape.
Tonight, your child may be afraid of the dark, but before you know it, they’ll be staying out late, going to parties, and yes, even having sleepovers. Don’t kid yourself; your little angel won’t be coming home at 9 p.m. with a warm cup of milk. The reality is, your kids will keep you up long after they’ve outgrown the crib. It was buried in the fine print when you signed up for this gig; always read the fine print!
While you might eventually get more sleep than you did in the beginning, that doesn’t make those unexpected midnight wake-up calls any less frustrating. What once felt like a blessing—a solid three hours of sleep—can quickly turn into a gut punch when your body adjusts to a new normal.
We like to pretend that sleep disturbances and those four-cup-of-coffee mornings are relics of infancy or easily explained by illness—if you’re a “good” mom, that is. I mean, surely, reading all the right parenting books guarantees your child will be a perfect sleeper forever, right? If your child doesn’t fit those arbitrary standards, it must be your fault for not doing X, Y, or Z.
Surprise! We don’t often talk about older kids who struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. Instead, we curse into our pillows and then walk our little ones to school as if nothing happened. Sure, the bags under your eyes might give you away, but discussing it feels like admitting defeat. No one wants to feel like a failure, let alone say it out loud. But if you were to Google “why won’t my kid sleep at night?” you’d discover you’re far from alone.
And that’s the message all parents need to hear—you’re not alone. Whether your kids wake up a lot or just occasionally, it’s okay, and for the most part, completely normal. If online forums offer you a sense of community, dive in. Let out a few choice words when the door closes and the kids can’t hear you. Pour yourself a glass of pinot grigio at 2 a.m. if it helps. Most importantly, talk about it with anyone willing to listen—friends, babysitters, even the grocery bagger. Just keep talking. There’s strength in sharing experiences (and commiserating).
So keep moving forward, parent. Parenthood is filled with skinned knees, broken hearts, irrational tantrums, and yes, those sleepless nights. It’s a wild ride, and your journey will be uniquely yours. Embrace it—because this is tough, and that’s perfectly okay.
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Summary:
Sleepless nights in parenthood can feel isolating and exhausting, even as your child grows. While well-meaning advice can often feel empty, it’s important to recognize that you’re not alone in your struggles. Embrace the wild ride of parenting, and don’t hesitate to share your experiences with others for support.