I’m definitely not a Type A mom—not even in the same universe. If I were grading myself based on society’s unrealistic expectations, I’d probably land somewhere around a C+ mom. But let’s be real, if I were being evaluated by the Shitty Moms or the Scary Mommies (oops, I mean the Home Insemination Kit moms), I’d be off the charts! And honestly, those are the women I want in my corner.
Once the fog of postpartum depression lifted and I had a little therapy to help me see clearly, I accepted that I wouldn’t be the super-mom who juggles breastfeeding, crafts from Pinterest, home-cooked dinners, and endless playdates like a pro. That’s when my best friend dubbed me the Three-Hour Mom—a title I wear with pride.
Let’s be real: I can handle three hours of parenting before I need a breather—a little “interval momming,” if you will. Those three hours can be magical, filled with love, laughter, and snuggles. But sometimes, they devolve into cries, tantrums, and a chorus of “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” followed by demands to go potty (but you just said you didn’t need to!). It’s a rollercoaster, and after a few of these three-hour stints, I’m ready to book an adult-only getaway. Forget a vacation after weeks; I’d settle for a couple of days!
Imagine checking into a hotel solo, leaving behind the tiny humans and your sometimes man-child. You walk into a spacious room with a bed fit for a family, and it’s all yours. You shed your clothes, slip into a plush robe, and dive into those crisp, clean sheets. You might nap again, and when you wake, it’s time for room service—yes, please! Indulging in dessert without having to share? That’s the dream.
Once comfortably food coma-ed, it’s time for some serious Netflix and Chill—literally. No need for distractions when you can just enjoy your shows in peace. And when you wake up the next day, it’s all about taking your time—no alarm clock to ruin your slumber, just blissful relaxation.
But reality hits after a few hours back in mom-mode. Three hours in, I’m begging my son to watch a show so I can muster the energy to play trucks. When my husband comes home, I magically develop a migraine and need him to handle the endless demands of our child and his own needs. Honestly, he probably indulged in some solo activities while I was away, so at least that’s one less thing to worry about, right?
Wearing my Three-Hour Mom crown brings an inner conflict: the desire to be that amazing, present mom versus the longing to be a carefree, independent woman. I try to be engaged as much as I can, even if it means letting the TV entertain my son while I steal some cuddles. Scheduling playdates gives me a chance to connect with adults while my son stays busy.
I want my son to feel loved, and that means I need to be happy. Happy mom = happy kid. To achieve that, I grab those precious Three-Hour Mom breaks when I can. School and camp have been lifesavers; while my son learns and plays, I sneak off to yoga or grab a meal with a friend. Running errands alone feels like a mini-vacation! Just you and the grocery store? Bliss.
Every couple of months, I make it a point to sneak in a solo trip. Whether it’s leaving early for a family trip to New York or a girls’ weekend with buddies from college, I prioritize my own needs without feeling guilty. Friends who don’t leave their kids much joke that I released all my guilt during that whirlwind first year of motherhood (thanks, postpartum depression!). Women, especially moms, give so much of themselves; taking time for self-care is not just okay—it’s essential.
Some might label the Three-Hour Mom as lazy, but I know my limits. I understand what I need to stay sane, and I put my happiness first. I’m just as significant as my child, and together, we navigate this chaotic universe. I embrace my identity as the Three-Hour Mom unapologetically, and I encourage you to give it a shot too!
For more insights on navigating motherhood and self-care, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination and consider boosting your fertility with expert advice. And remember, it’s okay to take time for yourself; it makes you a better partner and parent.