When I was a kid, the essence of play was simple: we roamed the neighborhood, making friends on the fly, and we knew to be home before the streetlights flickered on. Fast forward to today, where playdates are neatly scheduled events, and as the parent setting them up, I feel this urgent pressure to ensure my kids behave like little angels. After all, my reputation is on the line!
Here’s a rundown of the wise (and sometimes humorous) advice I share with my kiddos before they head off to play with friends:
- It’s totally cool to pretend you’re a dog, just don’t go biting anyone.
- Always offer to help with the clean-up, even if you’d rather not.
- Flush the toilet. It doesn’t matter if it sounds scary; keep your bathroom habits private.
- If snacks aren’t your thing, just say “no, thank you.” No need to be blunt about it!
- If you feel sick, aim for the toilet or garbage can. We don’t want to be the family known for ruining furniture.
- Show off your dance moves! They’re adorable.
- Take off your shoes, even if others don’t. Trust me, I know where your feet have been.
- If your socks have holes, it might be best to remove those too.
- Please, for the love of all that is good, don’t pee on their bathroom floor. Aim straight!
- Don’t break anything; it’s just rude. But if it happens, a simple “I’m sorry” goes a long way.
- Ask if your friend needs help with homework. It might just earn you an invite back!
- No fighting, even if they’re being a bit of a brat. Be the bigger person and move on.
- Use your “please” and “thank yous,” even if the food is less than appetizing.
- Keep your clothes on. We’re not nudists, remember?
- Share your toys, even if they’re being stingy. Think of it as practice for future relationships.
- No booger-eating! This rule applies to their boogers too. Just don’t do it!
- If they don’t know about Pokémon or Minecraft, keep those topics to yourself!
- No name-calling, especially not “butthole.” I regret teaching you that one.
- If you need to scratch an itch, do it in the bathroom and wash your hands after. Nobody likes “that kid” at a party.
- If you need to use the restroom, go right away. We don’t want any accidents, trust me!
- And please, don’t mention that I gave you any of these rules. Let’s keep my reputation intact.
I don’t lay down this entire list every time; it’s more a collection of pointers based on what they struggle with. Ultimately, my hope is that they’ll represent themselves and our family well, avoiding any embarrassing moments. I know my kids better than anyone, and this advice is tailored to their unique quirks.
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In summary, while playdates are a world apart from my childhood experiences, a bit of guidance goes a long way in ensuring my kids navigate these social interactions smoothly.