Relocating to a new city can be challenging, but starting a remote job with three kids in school and one little one at home is even tougher. Finding playmates for a lonely four-year-old can feel like a daunting task, leaving you to wonder if having a fifth child might’ve provided better companionship. It’s a vicious cycle.
I once prided myself on being the quintessential mom. I organized playgroups and coordinated my kids’ outfits daily. Our routine included bath toys that belonged in the tub, a structured bath time, regular library visits, and let’s not even get started on those homemade play dough sessions and Jell-O finger painting. I pushed myself to fit 18 years of parenting into the first four.
Initially, I adhered to the parenting rule that my kids would never watch more than the medically recommended two hours of television per day—unless it was one of those particularly tough days, which might have happened a couple of times. We avoided questionable shows like SpongeBob and the action-packed Power Rangers; even Sesame Street was off the table in my view. My children were only allowed a curated selection of Barney, Baby Einstein, and the occasional Disney movie—if it was raining, of course.
As I juggled library story time and meticulously planned playdates, I learned a crucial lesson about parenting: it’s essential to pace yourself.
Fast forward ten years, and here I am, alone with my youngest, who is just a year away from the joy we call Public School. I wish I could say she enjoys playdates or trips to the zoo, but honestly, I’m too exhausted and worn out to seek out other young moms who still prioritize daily baths for their kids.
So, what do you do with the last child? You allow them to watch whatever they fancy on TV while providing crayons and cardboard boxes to keep them entertained. Toss in some Cheerios on the floor, let the water run so she can fill her cup, and turn on Baby Bratz—voilà, four hours of uninterrupted work with minimal complaints. Thanks to my smartphone, I can easily switch her to the next show without leaving my desk.
Of course, we sometimes try to sneak in educational programs like Super Why and Daniel Tiger to ensure she’s learning letters and social skills. However, six hours of preschool a week hardly fills her schedule, and I can’t shake off the guilt.
Surprisingly, through sheer osmosis, she’s picked up some letters and numbers and is even teaching herself how to tie her shoes. Honestly, limiting my second child’s TV time didn’t prevent him from Autism, so I’m not overly concerned about her brain turning to mush.
As mothers, we often need to do what works. At four years old, I spent my days in my dad’s real estate office because my mom had to work. Back then, there were no iPads or DVDs—just me and a bunch of old filing cabinets. It was a dull year until my dad got a VCR and a single video that I wore out from constant viewing. I can still recite every line from Charlotte’s Web.
I’ve stopped berating myself for the fact that my youngest spends a year at home without a sibling to play with. I can’t be her playmate constantly, and I refuse to feel pressured to engage in learning games all day. My days of active play are over.
If she wants me to watch over her dolls during their nap, that’s fine. Otherwise, let’s see if we can learn a bit of Spanish from Dora today, shall we?
For more insights on parenting and childhood development, check out this post on childhood learning. If you’re interested in at-home insemination options, makeamom.com offers reliable kits. Plus, for those navigating infertility, womenshealth.gov is a valuable resource.
Summary:
This blog discusses the challenges of parenting, particularly with a fourth child, highlighting the shift in parenting strategies from strict TV limits to a more relaxed approach. It addresses feelings of guilt and the reality of modern motherhood, emphasizing the importance of pacing oneself while still nurturing children’s growth.
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