Ah, it’s that time again! Summer is winding down, the kids are gearing up for school, and here comes the most dreaded season of all: fantasy football season. For the next 17 weeks, our household will be in a state of suspended animation, where chores, family time, and even basic responsibilities are put on hold until February.
Honestly, can someone explain the allure of fantasy football? I just don’t get it. To me, it seems like one of the silliest pastimes ever. First off, it’s not even real! How can anyone justify spending so much time, energy, and money obsessing over a fictional roster they created?
These so-called “leagues” are essentially just a group of middle-aged guys, probably sporting beer bellies, sitting in their parents’ basements, convinced they can manage a pro sports team better than the real deal. They drink, eat, and reminisce about their childhood dreams of being football stars. It’s like Dungeons & Dragons, but instead of wizards and elves, they’re working with actual football players. They might think it’s cooler, but it’s still just as nerdy.
What fantasy football players think others think about their leagues vs. what people actually think is probably two very different things.
I happen to be married to a full-blown fantasy football enthusiast. He dedicates countless hours to analyzing player stats, reading articles, and devising strategies for his team. The summer? It’s just a long lead-up to the season. All this effort for the chance to win a measly $200 at the end of it all. Sure sounds worth it! That time could have been spent with family or tackling household projects, but instead, he’s glued to the TV and computer screens.
As the all-important draft approached, my husband was deep into research mode. ESPN was on constant replay (when the Disney Channel wasn’t), and every spare moment was consumed by stats and radio shows. His commitment was impressive, to say the least.
And don’t even get me started on the so-called “experts” who flood our screens with their insights. What qualifies them as experts? Are they psychic? How can anyone claim to be an authority on something so unpredictable? It’s a chaotic game where even the best predictions can go awry. Yet, they strut around with their flashy “Fantasy Football Today” logos like they’re on the cutting edge of something monumental. Bravo indeed.
Before tying the knot, I had no inkling that half of my husband’s week would be dedicated to football. I knew he liked it, but I had no idea it would affect everything from the birth of our child to family vacations. One year, he even won a whopping $200 in one of his leagues. Great, right? Well, that cash was left out on the coffee table during dinner, and our mischievous Jack Russell, Max, decided to make a meal of it. I couldn’t help but laugh initially—“Even the dog is telling you to give up on fantasy football!” But then reality hit. I wasn’t letting that dog keep my husband’s hard-earned cash!
What did I do? I resorted to the old trick of inducing vomiting with peroxide. Yes, I really did! After a quick call to the vet to make sure Max was safe, we ended up with a bathroom floor covered in money and dog vomit. Quite the sight! After cleaning and drying the bills, we painstakingly pieced them back together like an expensive jigsaw puzzle. It took ages, but we eventually made it to the bank to deposit the cash. Not even dog vomit could keep me from that money!
And here’s the kicker: Almost three years ago, I was pregnant with our third child whose due date coincided with the football draft. Oh, the irony! Thankfully, remote drafting was an option back then (for him, not for me). Our daughter arrived just hours before the draft, and while I was exhausted and trying to bond with our newborn, my husband was busy pretending to be a football coach, clicking away on his mouse. I could hear the incessant clicking over my desire for some peace and quiet. It’s a miracle we’re still married!
In summary, guys, it’s time to reevaluate your priorities. Enjoy your fantasy football, but when it starts to disrupt your relationships and life, maybe it’s time to step back a bit.
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