I found myself sprawled on the exam table during my six-week postpartum checkup after welcoming my third child into the world. My midwife, Emily, was giving me a breast exam and couldn’t help but comment on my generous assets. “Wow, your boobs are impressive! How do you even drive with those?”
In that moment, the tears flowed—not because of her remarks, but because it was the first time in ages that I didn’t have my three kids in tow since my youngest was born. I had been so eager for this appointment, and suddenly it struck me how sad that realization was.
I was so overwhelmed that I was actually looking forward to being examined by the same woman who just witnessed my labor. Laying on that table alone felt like a mini-vacation, and I didn’t care if I had to endure a medical procedure that felt like being pried open with a crowbar.
Emily sensed my distress immediately. “You’re in the thick of it. I know it’s tough. But trust me, it will improve.”
I wanted to shake her and demand, “When? When does it get better?” But I held my tongue, fearing her answer would be something like, “In 18 years.” That thought was too much to bear, so I just left and treated myself to a much-needed oversized coffee (my first in six weeks)—and it was heavenly.
Fast forward almost a decade, and I’ve learned to care a little less about the little things. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know this: it does get better. You learn and grow. If you’ve shed tears during a breast exam because you feel like a shell of your former self, you’re not alone. Grab a treat for yourself afterward. If you feel underappreciated, resentful, or find yourself snapping at family faster than you can grab a slice of cake while hiding in the fridge, well, that might linger for a while. But trust me—it gets better because you become more adept at navigating this crazy journey called parenting. You learn to love your kids fiercely while also nurturing yourself. It just takes a bit of practice.
Every mom is stretched thin, regardless of the number of kids or whether you work outside the home or choose to stay with the little ones. We all feel maxed out at times.
One thing that helped me tremendously was to care less—specifically, to lower my expectations for myself. Sometimes, it’s perfectly fine to arrive late. If your kids protest getting dressed, let them stay in their pajamas. Don’t hesitate to ask for help—whether that’s seeking advice, getting a prescription for stress relief, or asking a friend to babysit so you can run errands. Your well-being should never be compromised.
If you skip cooking dinner one night, your family will survive. If you leave a mess from the kids’ playtime while you sneak in a shower, no one will notice. If you go a few days without a shower, it’s not the end of the world. And if you need caffeine to tackle those endless rounds of Candy Land and answer a million questions, indulge yourself!
When you’re deep in the trenches of motherhood, it can be hard to gain perspective. Sometimes, all you can do is give yourself permission to step away and deal with it later. So, schedule fewer commitments, say “no” more often, and embrace this newfound freedom without guilt. You’ll feel so liberated, you might just want to swing from the chandelier!
Do what you must to get through those maxed-out feelings. Some days will feel unbearable, and the next might not be a picnic either. However, you will get better at coping, and chaos will become your new normal. You’ll always have messes to clean up, but remember, when the kids are grown, it won’t matter if the laundry was folded or if they survived on hot dogs for dinner four nights in a row.
What will matter is that you took care of yourself during those challenging moments so you could be fully present for your family. Letting some things slide is necessary for managing the beautiful chaos of parenting. Motherhood isn’t a race, and it’s all too easy to forget that when you’re feeling stretched. Just know that we’ve all been there—so reach out to a friend, ask for help, and don’t hesitate to order takeout if you need a break. It won’t always feel this way; it really does get better.
For more insight, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re interested in exploring options for starting a family, you might find this guide on artificial insemination kits helpful. And if you want to dive deeper, take a look at our post on intracervical insemination for more information.
Summary
Motherhood can be overwhelming, but it gets better with time. Caring less and adjusting expectations can make a world of difference. Take care of yourself, ask for help, and embrace the chaos. Remember, you’re not alone in feeling maxed out, and there are resources available to help you navigate this journey.