It’s taken me a solid two years to get somewhat comfortable with the art of playground small talk. There’s a delicate dance to it, a rhythm that demands practice. First, you must accept that your child will inevitably make friends—or, let’s be honest, sometimes bully—other kids, which means you’ll encounter their parents up close and personal. And yes, it feels downright strange to stand in silence. Over time, I’ve compiled a trusty list of conversation starters that include gems like, “How old is your little one?” “Isn’t this weather just lovely?” or “My kid is obsessed with growling like a dinosaur thanks to this wild Netflix show.”
Some parents engage enthusiastically, others respond with terse one-word replies, and some politely nod and subtly drift away. You learn to roll with it. There are days when even the thought of talking feels like too much. I get that—there are days when I choose to skip the playground entirely, just to avoid those awkward exchanges. It might be selfish, but hey, if I’m going to be nudged into odd conversations with people who don’t share my humor, I’d like to control when that happens.
Sure, there will be moments when you’re the quirky parent babbling away, but then there are those magical instances when a spark ignites. You exchange witty banter, and suddenly it clicks: “A-ha! A kindred spirit! Now what?” Let’s face it—making friends after having kids is a daunting task. You lack the time and energy to seek out potential pals, your existing friends with children have schedules that clash with yours, and those without kids often forget that you need more than a last-minute invitation to hang out. It’s a classic catch-22 that leaves you feeling socially estranged and, let’s admit it, a bit peculiar.
The biggest lesson parenting has imparted to me is how to navigate endless feelings of awkwardness. Use that to your advantage! Why hesitate to approach a stranger with a friendship proposal when you’ve tackled public diaper disasters, supermarket tantrums, and the trials of toddlers biting (whether yours or someone else’s)?
But where do you find those genuine mom-friends? The answer lies in your kids. School events, daycare meet-and-greets, mom groups—these are your new social hubs. And if your tots are too young for school, there’s always the playground. You eventually realize how vital deep, meaningful relationships with other women are. If you have them, they never feel as close as you’d like, and the absence of such bonds can create a significant void in your life.
So when you encounter an incredible mom with whom you could potentially forge a meaningful friendship, you might find yourself doing some hilarious things. Perhaps you shadow her a bit too closely around the playground. Your lighthearted chat takes a deep dive into serious territory—wondering if you should have a third child, fretting about your son’s “dark tendencies,” or questioning whether you’ll ever experience real intimacy again. Did I just say that out loud?
Or maybe you connect with a complete stranger in a way that rekindles your sense of self, allowing you to speak in full sentences without resorting to a sing-song voice. You remind yourself that building friendships requires courage and effort. If you can manage to push a baby out, you can definitely take a chance on a fellow mom who seems awesome. You make your move—let’s not call it “chasing her down,” that feels too intense—and in a moment reminiscent of a junior high crush, you ask to connect on Facebook.
What happens next is up to you. Maybe you’ll message her for a playdate. Or go bold and invite her over for a barbecue. Or possibly message her too soon, sending her running for the hills, and she quietly unfriends you weeks later. Regardless, you’re one step closer to finding your tribe, your crew, your mom squad—your “bosom friends,” as Anne Shirley would say. And that, my friend, is worth all the discomfort in the world.
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Summary
Navigating the world of motherhood can feel lonely, especially when trying to make new friends as an ‘awkward mom.’ Embrace the quirks, look for connections at school events and playgrounds, and remember that building friendships takes courage. Whether you hit it off with another mom or experience the occasional social faux pas, each step brings you closer to finding your community.