“It’s hard to believe how much they’ve grown!” My partner, Alex, looked genuinely stunned, but it’s not like they sprouted overnight. His expression was a mix of disbelief and nostalgia as he turned to me for a reaction.
“I can’t even recall when it happened.”
Oh, but I can! Like most significant life transitions, this one crept up on us over the years, even if neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. I had seen the signs earlier; for me, it was never quite a cozy fit, even from the start. Nowadays, during our quiet moments—like when we find ourselves folding laundry, just like we were then—we often drift back to memories of their younger days. While I had been noticing their growth all along, Alex seemed to be waking up to it for the first time.
“I used to cradle them in one hand, those tiny little bundles,” he reminisced, sadness creeping into his voice. “Can they really be gone for good?”
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
“Yeah, but I miss them, that’s all.” His eyes looked hurt, as if my nonchalance had bruised him.
“I’m sorry, but let’s be real. When they were that small, they were kind of a handful.”
It was true! Can we finally be honest about this? For some, parenting appeared effortless, but for me, it was always a challenge. Every single day and night with little ones could be maddening. “How can you say that? They were so cute!”
“Maybe to you, but they were practically glued to my side every waking moment!”
“I know you see it differently, but I miss that,” he sighed, gazing off into the distance.
“I’m sure you do, but they woke me up at all hours. Ugh.” I rolled my eyes.
“They woke me up too.” He smirked.
“Let’s not even go there.”
“Do we need them around to be happy? Is that what held us together?” I probed.
“No, don’t be silly. They just added so much… zest to our lives back then.”
“Maybe for you. It all feels like a blur to me.”
“I can remember everything.”
“Well, do you remember the costs?”
“Like they aren’t still high?!” he exclaimed.
We locked eyes, the air thick with tension. He was trying to persuade me, and I was wavering.
“We could start fresh,” he suggested with a mischievous grin. “How about a whole new crew?”
I snapped back to reality. “Absolutely not! Have you seen these stretch marks?” I sighed deeply. “Those days are behind us. And let’s be honest, I never wanted the last two! It was a moment of weakness to make you happy—when I look at them, I feel nothing but regret!”
“Take that back!”
“I wish I could take them back!”
He fell silent, looking utterly bewildered. Was he taken aback by my bluntness?
I reached for his shoulder, softening my tone. “We can’t dwell in the past. We have to remember the good times and cherish the joy they brought.”
“Well, I do have photos,” he sniffled.
“Oh great—are you tearing up again?”
“No, but sometimes, when I see them now, it brings a tear to my eye.”
I took his hands, trying to make him see my perspective. “Sure, it’s a massive shift for both of us, but I’m happier now, don’t you get it?”
“Massive,” he echoed.
“Yeah, I know, but it was time to move on.”
He fixated on the laundry instead of me, like I was speaking to a brick wall.
“Besides, I’m past 40,” I reminded him.
“So what? I’ve seen women way older—”
I cut him off. “As a man, you might never fully grasp how I feel. I’m done! And let’s be real, you weren’t the one caring for little ones all those years. These days, it’s way less stressful for me. It’s different, but it’s better. Now they hug me instead of just clinging to me constantly. I’m comfortable with how things are now. I know you aren’t, but I’m not sorry that I can finally breathe again. I feel… free!”
I let the tears flow.
He attempted a smile, but I knew he just didn’t quite get it. I pressed on. “You’ve always had that freedom. I don’t need your judgment, I need your support, no matter what.”
He looked at me with resignation.
Then, reaching into the laundry basket, he held up my enormous, beige granny panties, dramatically wiping a tear with them as he sighed. “I guess they really are only little once.”
In Summary
The evolution of parenthood is a gradual journey filled with nostalgia and mixed feelings. As children grow, the challenges and joys shift, leading to different perspectives on parenting. While one partner may long for the days of tiny hands and late-night cuddles, the other may find relief and newfound freedom in the current stage of life. It’s a balancing act between cherishing the past and embracing the present.