When you’re a parent, sneaking out for a date night can feel like preparing for an Olympic event. Juggling nap times and babysitters, not to mention that little detail of getting dressed (who needs a bra, anyway?), can make a night out seem impossible. But don’t fret! I firmly believe that setting aside time each week for a date with your partner is essential, and some of our best evenings have been spent lounging at home with Netflix, takeout, and a decent bottle of wine (let’s redefine “Netflix and chill,” shall we?). For those eager to create a special night in, I’ve crafted a comprehensive guide to ensure you and your partner have a memorable evening.
- First things first—ensure your little one has had their recommended nap time. A well-rested baby is a happy baby.
- Prepare a bucket of ice ahead of time; you don’t want the ice machine to become your worst enemy post-bedtime.
- Get the baby down for the night on schedule.
- If you’re cooking:
- Try to keep the clanging of pots and pans to a minimum.
- Beat the oven timer before it starts beeping like a siren.
- If takeout is your plan:
- Option 1: Have your partner place the order while you handle bedtime.
- Option 2: Order right after the baby is asleep.
- Don’t forget to keep the dog outside or distract him to avoid a barking wake-up call.
- Feast time! Eat quickly—kids seem to know when you’re trying to enjoy a hot meal or a moment of peace.
- Choose a movie.
- Spend the next 45 minutes browsing Netflix.
- Spend another 15 minutes sifting through your personal movie collection.
- Finally decide to watch that film you spotted trending on Netflix 40 minutes ago.
- Uh-oh! The baby is awake! Quick, play rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to soothe them back to sleep.
- After two lullabies and a whole lot of rocking, the baby is back in dreamland.
- Gently lay the baby down without a peep.
- sneak out of the nursery.
- Realize your house sounds like a creaky horror film.
- Notice that your ankles crack too much; make a mental note to consult a doctor about that.
- Sit down and prepare to enjoy the movie.
- Suddenly crave popcorn. Weigh the risk of waking the baby against your snack desires.
- Live dangerously and pop the popcorn anyway.
- Pour yourself a generous glass of wine, Tami Taylor-style.
- Settle back down, ready to watch the movie.
- Your dog is now growling, eyeing your popcorn.
- The baby stirs on the monitor.
- Bribe the dog with popcorn, and get comfy for the movie.
- Forget you’re watching a film filled with explosions and loud music.
- The baby is awake again!
- Pause the movie.
- Rock, paper, scissors again on who will handle the baby.
- Wait! They’ve put themselves back to sleep!
- Since the movie is paused, take a quick bathroom break.
- That creaky floor strikes again!
- The baby is actually awake now! One lullaby and some “Oh baby baby” rocking, à la Monica from Friends, should do the trick.
- Repeat steps 13 to 16.
- Finally, sit down to finish the movie.
- Debate whether to stay up and enjoy each other’s company or hit the hay.
- Admire your sleeping baby on the monitor. You created that little miracle, and it’s pretty amazing.
- Opt to hang out a bit longer and pour another glass of wine; after all, the baby will wake up again in an hour or so.
And there you have it! A straightforward 34-step guide to having a memorable date night at home with your partner! For more parenting insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
If you’re looking for DIY options, consider checking out this authority on at-home insemination kits for more information. And for additional tips on creating a cozy atmosphere, see our other blog post here.
Summary: Embrace the challenges of parenting and create a memorable date night at home by following these humorous and practical steps. From managing nap times to sneaking in snacks, you can enjoy quality time with your partner without leaving the house.