Dear friend,
I’m reaching out not from a specific location, but from a moment in time — a serene space that I never thought I could find: a space of tranquility. I understand what you’re going through; I’ve faced relentless thoughts that seemed to invade my mind like an unwelcome guest. I, too, have experienced the suffocating grip of anxiety pressing against my chest, making every breath feel like a struggle. I, too, have battled with those illogical yet terrifying obsessions, desperately seeking some semblance of control. For a long time, I carried that overwhelming burden alone. Yes, I have obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Let me be straightforward: this message isn’t about claiming that OCD simply fades away with time — because it doesn’t. However, I can assure you that improvement is possible. You deserve a better quality of life, but you must take action; you can’t navigate this journey in solitude.
I know that your thoughts can be daunting. They can be paralyzing, and they often feel like intrusions that you want to escape. That’s why I’m here, urging you to confront them. It’s time for you to take that crucial first step — the very first step I wish I had taken much earlier in my life.
Allow me to accompany you on this journey, because no one should have to face it alone. You, my friend, will seek help. Whether you decide to connect with a mental health professional or simply confide in a family member, the choice is yours. In this shared experience, I’m also committing to a significant first step in my life — one I’ve avoided for 23 years: I’m opening up about my irrational fears and sharing them with you.
Here are some thoughts I’ve kept hidden, weighed down by shame:
- As a child, I avoided sharp objects, terrified that I might harm someone without meaning to.
- I used to skip in place while shopping to fend off intrusive thoughts, coordinating my breathing with the sight of passersby.
- If someone I disliked touched me, I would wash my hands obsessively, fearing their traits would transfer to me.
- I washed my hands so often that my skin would peel like a snake shedding its skin.
- I’d often find myself checking my car multiple times to ensure I hadn’t left the lights on or doors unlocked.
- One time, I spent four hours preparing a simple meal, disinfecting everything out of fear of foodborne illness.
- I feared for my loved ones’ safety, checking the locks on doors numerous times before bed.
- Some nights, I would have to get out of bed just to wash my hands and quiet the intrusive thoughts.
- In moments of extreme anxiety, I would pull my hair while staring at myself in the mirror.
- I avoided pets and children, worried I might accidentally hurt them.
- All of this was shrouded in secrecy and deep shame.
I’ve managed to overcome most of these irrational fears and compulsions. Even on challenging days when anxiety weighs heavily, I’ve learned to recognize those intrusive thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. I acknowledge them and then let them drift away. I wouldn’t be here without the support of therapists, medication, and my loving family.
I’m done hiding in the shadows of embarrassment. I’m done with the stigma surrounding mental health. Most importantly, I’m done pretending that my OCD doesn’t exist simply to avoid making others uncomfortable.
Let’s stop pretending together. Please take that important first step. Don’t do it for me. Do it for those you love, but most importantly, do it for yourself.
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Summary
Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder can be overwhelming, but taking the first step towards seeking help is crucial. Sharing personal experiences helps break the stigma and encourages others to confront their own challenges. Together, we can create a supportive community focused on healing and understanding.