We put in a lot of effort to help my autistic son become more independent with his daily routines. When he finally started to grasp toilet training, we thought we had triumphed over a significant obstacle. We were all thrilled, and I’m pretty sure my laundry machines were celebrating too! Victory songs were being sung all around.
Oh, how naive we were.
There was one critical issue we hadn’t anticipated. We consulted his teachers, therapists, support staff, and other parents. The problem wasn’t disappearing, and since my grand plan of “I’ll just live forever” isn’t going to work out, it was time to face… The Hand Dryer of Doom (cue the ominous music).
In an effort to save the planet for future generations, scientists developed hand dryers for public restrooms. However, these contraptions emit a sound akin to the wails of the underworld.
Telling my son, “Just wipe your hands on your pants,” wasn’t an option. After hearing a stranger use one in the restroom, he was utterly terrified at the mere sight of them. As he grows older and ventures into the men’s room solo (while I stand guard at the door announcing, “Mom’s right here! Call if you need help, and fellas, I’ve seen it all!”), the challenge escalates.
So, what worked? A hair dryer. Yes, you read that right. His former teacher, Mrs. Thompson, cleverly introduced one after handwashing at school. While he doesn’t adore it, he has learned to tolerate it. That’s all a mom like me could ask for. The day she sent me a photo from a class trip to the mall, I was a blubbering mess. Like, full-on ugly cry.
Miracles do happen—even in the bathroom.
Then I encountered the Exlerator brand! Oh, you know the one—ridiculously loud and imposing. Just when I thought we’d conquered the hand dryer fear, this beast showed up. Seriously? You want him to stick his hands into that noisy contraption? It looks like it belongs in a bad sci-fi horror flick! After finally getting him used to the regular dryer, now I have to teach him about this monstrosity? No, thank you. I’m going full “teenage girl sipping a pumpkin spice latte” and declaring, “You’ll just have to deal with wet hands, kiddo.” Sure, it might make your fries soggy, but you’ll persevere!
In a restroom at the movies, I noticed that no other women were using this thing. Instead, they all opted for paper towels, happily sacrificing a tree rather than facing that monstrosity. Even for neurotypical folks, this contraption crossed the line of social awareness regarding environmental issues.
Some challenges can’t be solved with a side of fries, and this new hand dryer is one of them. I’d tell it to “blow me” if I wasn’t so paralyzed by fear of it.
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Summary:
This humorous narrative explores the challenges of helping an autistic child overcome a fear of hand dryers. After many failed attempts, a hair dryer becomes the unexpected solution. The article highlights the trials of parenting, environmental concerns, and the quirks of public restrooms, all while providing links to relevant resources for further reading.