You remember those looks your parents or teachers could give that instantly hushed you? Just one well-timed raised eyebrow or a frosty glare, and you’d freeze like a deer in headlights. You’d drop whatever you were about to toss or stop mid-sentence, knowing you were in trouble. That’s the power of the parent glare.
Then there’s the way your mom could alter her tone—just a slight shift in how she spoke could send chills down your spine. Your dad could simply call your name, and you’d know the game was up. No shouting, no fuss, just carefully chosen words that packed a punch. That’s the parent voice.
These are essential tools in a parent’s toolkit, but they’re not innate; they require practice and time to develop.
I’m almost six years into this parenting journey with two kids, and frankly, I’m still working on acquiring those skills. So, I’ve turned to a different approach—one that doesn’t require years of practice and that we all possess.
I yell. A lot. And surprisingly, it works. Sure, it might rattle my son a bit. (And before you get concerned, keep in mind that Elmo freaks him out too. I’m not going full Sam Kinison on him—just raising my voice a tad.) It’s not my proudest moment, and it definitely makes me feel guilty, but it gets results.
Look, I don’t want my son to fear me; my goal is to snap him out of whatever chaotic moment he’s lost in. I don’t aspire to be that parent who shouts all the time, but sometimes it’s all I have left to make him pause.
At five years old, he needs to hear things multiple times before they actually register. Half the time, he’s acting on impulse, not thinking through the consequences. He’s head-butting his baby brother, jumping on me while I’m holding a hot cup of coffee, or demanding a song while we’re in the middle of a movie he picked! Five-year-olds are pure energy, and sometimes that energy needs to be channeled. A little volume helps me regain some control.
Sure, there are other methods like the parent voice or the parent glare, but those take time to master and can be tricky when your little whirlwind is constantly on the go. Sometimes, you just need to cut through the noise and grab their attention. A bit of yelling helps me do just that.
But relying on yelling too much can backfire. If my voice is always raised, it might eventually fade into the background. I’m aware of this and want to avoid it. I also want to keep my son from injuring himself, his little brother, or even my precious liquor cabinet. Firmness is often necessary with a five-year-old, and until I can harness my inner zen, yelling is my go-to.
At this point, it’s a race between my son maturing and my yelling losing its impact. I’m hopeful that he’ll learn to temper his wild side soon, allowing me to reserve my raised voice for truly special occasions.
In the meantime, I’ll keep raising my voice. It may worry my son, but sometimes that’s just what I need to redirect him—even if it’s only for a moment. And honestly, when I don’t shout, he tends to ignore me, and a dad has to do what a dad has to do.
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Summary
In the world of parenting, yelling becomes a tool for many, especially when trying to manage the chaos of young children. While not the ideal method, it serves as a quick way to regain control in the moment. As parents develop their skills over time, striking a balance between yelling and using calm communication becomes crucial. For those navigating the challenges of parenthood, resources are available to help guide the journey.