Summer has been a challenge. My partner heads off to work, and I find myself staring at the clock, hoping it will somehow reveal the secret to filling our days with fun activities. With all three kids at home, I’m their entertainment committee and personal assistant rolled into one. I attempt to arrange playdates, but our friends seem to have scattered off to beaches and family gatherings, or they’re busy working—like I used to.
On those scorching summer days when the driveway feels like a hot griddle, I dream of sandy shores, only to be confined to our air-conditioned house with all the blinds drawn. Our playroom’s contents slowly migrate from room to room, creating a chaotic landscape of board game pieces and toy clothing, making me feel like I’ve descended into a cluttered abyss.
Naturally, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the start of school. Yet, the relief of transitioning from managing three children to one—especially during grocery runs—hasn’t quite overshadowed my overwhelming realization that my oldest is about to start kindergarten. Kindergarten! Like all significant milestones in my children’s lives, this change is stirring up a whirlwind of emotions in me. Let me break them down:
Nerves.
I fret over the little things. My oldest is not a morning person, and guess what? Neither am I! Our morning routine typically goes like this:
Me: “Time to get dressed!”
Me (five minutes later): “Seriously, it’s time to get dressed!”
Me (five minutes later again): “Are you still not dressed?”
I find myself grabbing the keys and the other kids, pretending to leave her behind in her undies because, clearly, a child who opts for a Where’s Waldo? puzzle instead of listening to their mother needs a lesson in consequences.
There are tantrums. There are tears. Mornings in our house are chaotic, and who knows what next Tuesday morning will bring? It’s entirely possible my child will be the only one showing up late on her first day of kindergarten.
Nerves.
We’ve checked with all her preschool buddies, and none will be in her kindergarten class. I’m not one of those moms who overthinks her child’s emotional state. Even if she’s disappointed about not being with her friends, I know she’ll bounce back. But I can’t help but worry on that first day—will she feel lonely or out of place? That thought alone gives my heart a little squeeze.
Nerves.
This is my first foray into the world of public school parenting. I know plenty of parents who seem to have it all figured out—drop-offs, pickups, school lunches, PTA meetings, homework, and a gazillion other things I haven’t even discovered yet. Someday, I hope to be one of those savvy parents, but right now, I feel like a deer caught in headlights at my first Zumba class—completely out of my element.
Nerves.
Please let her not be “that kid.” I hope she remembers to keep her fingers out of her nose, uses her manners, and refrains from speaking out of turn when the teacher asks for quiet. And please, during those hours between 7:30 and 2:30, let her avoid mentioning “vagina” or “nipples,” which just happen to be her current favorite words. I want her to go out into the world and show everyone what a wonderful parent I am.
So yes, I might be a bit anxious about kindergarten—though I’d never let my 5-year-old know. For her sake, I’ll keep it together long enough to give her a big hug and wave goodbye as she steps into her new classroom. Then I’ll shed a few tears in the car, drop my middle child off at preschool, and head to the grocery store with the baby, all while counting my blessings for the 180 days of quiet ahead before summer rolls around again.
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Summary:
As kindergarten approaches, a mother shares her mixed emotions about her oldest child starting school. While she feels anxious about mornings, social dynamics, and navigating the public school system, she also looks forward to some quiet time ahead.