In theory, my child has two parents invested in her education. In reality, it often feels like I’m the solo act: her mother, doing it all. But this year, I’m flipping the script and reminding everyone at school that her dad is just as much a part of the equation. He’s not just a name—I’m making sure he’s recognized as a full participant in this journey.
As the welcome emails and introductions from teachers started pouring in, I knew it was time to take action. I wanted to be clear about our family dynamics. So I shot off a brief, straightforward email to the principal:
Dear Ms. Roberts,
We’re excited about the new school year ahead! Please include my daughter’s father in all communications. It’s important for us as a family that he stays informed about everything happening at school.
With that click of “send,” I felt a wave of empowerment wash over me. No longer would my partner be treated as an unexpected guest whenever he stepped foot into our daughter’s school. My small act of micro-activism made it clear: I’m not the only one who carries the weight of our family’s educational responsibilities.
It’s frustrating to see how society often expects mothers to be the primary caregivers and educators. My partner feels this pressure, too; whenever we attend school functions, he often seems to fade into the background, a mere spectator in a space where he should feel equal. But when he does share his thoughts, suddenly he’s the star of the show. His contributions are applauded as if he’s discovered fire, while I’m left feeling like a mere afterthought. It’s a frustrating display of the gendered expectations that often permeate parent-teacher interactions.
Fathers today come in all shapes and sizes—stay-at-home dads, PTA participants, and even those who write about parenting online. They go beyond traditional roles, teaching their kids everything from skateboarding to sewing. My own childhood wasn’t devoid of an engaged father; he was present for everything from meetings to meals and everything in between. So, the standard is set high in my mind—fathers should receive as much encouragement and recognition as mothers do.
That’s exactly why I sent that email. I want the school to recognize my partner as an integral part of our daughter’s education, just as they do with me. Imagine how the school year would feel if I were treated with the same lightness as a dad. There’d be no pressure; I could step into every situation feeling like I was walking the red carpet, with zero expectations weighing on me. But alas, that’s just wishful thinking.
Instead, we need to raise the bar. My partner deserves to be included in every aspect of our daughter’s school life. When I’m approached to volunteer, I’ll gladly share his contact information. If the principal looks to me to lead a meeting, I’ll point them in his direction.
And just like that, I witnessed another dad step up, rallying the parents as they left the building. “We’re meeting next week at the same time!” he called out. I thought, “Great job!” but kept my appreciation to myself.
In a world where both parents are equally responsible, it’s time schools acknowledge that dads are just as involved. This year, let’s make sure schools expect and welcome both parents to show up, because we’re in this together.
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Summary
This article discusses the importance of recognizing fathers as active participants in their children’s education. It highlights the need for schools to include both parents in communications and activities, aiming to challenge traditional gender roles in parenting. By sending a simple email to the school principal, the author advocates for a shift in expectations, emphasizing that both mothers and fathers should be acknowledged equally in their children’s schooling.