Updated: Dec. 2, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 21, 2023
As any seasoned parent will tell you, a lot of parenting advice out there is fixated on the early years. You know the drill: crumbs from snacks ground into the carpet, a never-ending pile of unmatched socks, and the struggle of enjoying a moment of personal time—like using the bathroom in peace. Then there are the bake sales that sneak up on you like a ninja when you’re least prepared.
Once the toddler chaos fades, you might think the worst is over. But let me tell you, the later years come with their own delightful challenges. From endless carpools to sports practices, music lessons, and school projects, it can feel like a circus act gone wrong. And don’t get me started on the partner who mysteriously shows up late or wants quality time after you’ve been pulled in every direction. Been there, done that, and I have the battle scars to prove it.
But here’s the kicker: much of what you’ve been told about parenting older kids and their supposed newfound independence? Total nonsense. While some kids do transition smoothly into adulthood, many seem to linger in a state of perpetual adolescence. Here are five myths I was told, which turned out to be about as accurate as a broken clock.
1. You’ll Have More Free Time as They Get Older.
Let’s just say this is a myth of epic proportions. While you might expect things to ease up, the reality is that I still find myself juggling house chores, cooking, and nagging them about their responsibilities—on top of working long hours. A simple text to remind them to tidy up? Nope, still requires relentless supervision!
2. Once They Can Drive, They’ll Be Out of the House.
Ha! I remember getting my license at 16 and never looking back. With my kids, it’s like pulling teeth to get them behind the wheel. I actually have to conjure up errands just to get a moment of peace. Who knew that a billion cans of beans could be so useful for a little quiet time?
3. They’ll Stop Wanting to Talk to You.
Not even close! I cherish that my kids feel comfortable chatting with me, but could we schedule these conversations for daytime hours? Midnight discussions about their lives when I have a 4 a.m. wake-up call? No, thanks. The constant stream of “Mom!” echoes from the moment I walk in the door until I finally go to bed, and that radar for my attention is still going strong.
4. Their Toys Will Disappear as They Get Older.
Think again! The toys may have changed, but the clutter remains. Instead of action figures, it’s video game controllers and laptops sprawled across every available surface—couch, floor, even the dining table. Apparently, putting things away is still a foreign concept.
5. Older Kids Can Look After Themselves.
In what universe? Sure, they can microwave leftovers if they’re already prepped, but actual self-sufficiency? Not so much. They struggle to understand their own morning routines, can’t identify a dirty house, and need reminders to do their laundry. There’s only so much teaching can do when the lessons don’t seem to stick.
In short, our parenting duties don’t magically vanish just because society thinks older kids should be self-sufficient. All those hours spent trying to instill independence aren’t paying off as quickly as they did for our parents. On the brighter side, I have a strong bond with my kids, complete with movie nights and family time. I have faith that when they finally do become truly independent, they’ll come back home for holidays, probably waiting for me to whip up their favorite meals.
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Summary
Parenting older kids often comes with unexpected challenges and misconceptions. From the myth of having more free time to the belief that kids will naturally become self-sufficient, the reality is quite different. Parents continue to juggle responsibilities and maintain close relationships while navigating the unique dynamics of raising older children.