Last week, I found myself chatting with my daughter’s science teacher, who had some concerns about my usually confident little girl. Apparently, she had been unusually quiet and tearful during class discussions, especially when faced with challenging topics. After our talk, I learned that my daughter had been too scared to admit she didn’t understand something. Instead of speaking up, she preferred to hold back tears rather than ask for help. She even said, “Mom, I’m just not as brave as you. I can’t speak up like you do.”
In that moment, it hit me: despite being the daughter of a strong-willed woman, she hadn’t yet grasped the importance of finding her own voice. I realized that the ability to express oneself is not inherent; it’s a skill that needs to be nurtured. My mission became clear: I wanted to empower her to assert herself positively, without being rude or aggressive. Here’s how I plan to help her channel her inner warrior.
1. Ditch the Apologies
I’m not suggesting my daughter should stop apologizing when she genuinely hurts someone. However, I want her to eliminate phrases like “I’m sorry but…” from her vocabulary. Her opinions are valid, and she should never feel the need to apologize for sharing them. Women should confidently voice their thoughts without feeling the need to diminish their contributions.
2. Encourage Questioning Authority
If my daughter feels something isn’t right, whether it’s on the playground or in the classroom, I want her to share her feelings openly. Standing up for herself, even in front of adults, will empower her in the long run—whether she’s advocating for herself at school or negotiating for a raise later in life.
3. No Obligatory Smiles
When my daughter walks down the street, I want her to know she doesn’t owe a smile to anyone, including strangers who might catcall her. She should feel free to react however she chooses, whether she’s having a good day or one of those “I’d rather not deal with the world” days. Her feelings are hers to express, not to hide behind a forced grin.
4. Speak Out Loudly
A while ago, we encountered a situation that made her uncomfortable when a strange man approached us. Instead of speaking up, she felt compelled to be polite. After that day, we’ve practiced using her voice to assert herself and developed phrases she can yell if she ever feels threatened. Finding her strong voice is essential for her protection.
5. Identify Her Tribe
At a recent book release event, my daughter lit up when she saw friends dressed in costumes just like hers and exclaimed, “These are my people!” I want her to recognize and cherish those who uplift her and add joy to her life. Life’s too short to spend with those who don’t foster her growth. Once she finds her tribe, I hope she holds onto them tightly.
A couple of weeks after our chat about her math class, my daughter burst into the kitchen, proudly displaying her perfect test score. As I hugged her, she declared, “I’m going to speak up more often, Mom! This feels amazing!”
For more insights on empowering young women, check out our other blog posts, like this one on Home Insemination Kit and discover resources from Make a Mom for home insemination topics. You can also find additional information at News Medical for all things related to pregnancy and IVF.
Summary:
Empowering your daughter to speak her mind is crucial for her development. By teaching her to ditch unnecessary apologies, question authority, embrace her emotions, use her voice assertively, and find her supportive community, you can help her grow into a confident and self-assured woman.