Every woman deserves the autonomy to choose whether to dedicate her life—and body—to another being. Whether it’s a 35-year-old woman who doesn’t want children, a 15-year-old who lacks access to contraception, or a 23-year-old who’s not ready to be tied down, each person should have the right to say “no” to what happens within their body, regardless of their situation.
I’ve held this belief since I was old enough to join the discussion. Whenever I expressed my pro-choice views around those who disagreed, the responses were often mild—typically along the lines of, “You’ll change your mind once you have your own child,” or, “You’re still young.” As someone who generally takes a backseat in debates, I didn’t feel the need to push my liberal views further.
When I discovered I was pregnant, the embryo inside me was just a poppy seed in size. It wouldn’t be considered a “fetus” for another four weeks, but if I had chosen not to continue the pregnancy, I would have faced a barrage of political and social pressures. Sure, those cells are alive, but so are the cells on my face—no one protests when I exfoliate, right?
Now, as a mother to a cherished, planned child, I can say the skeptics were partially right: I do feel differently. I’m more empowered than ever to express my pro-choice stance, and I’ve gained additional insights along the way.
For one, I didn’t instantly fall in love with my baby the moment that second line appeared on the pregnancy test. My husband, Jake, and I did our homework before trying to conceive. We devoured books, consulted doctors, and listened to the wisdom of experienced parents. The cliché that I would instantly feel like a mother upon discovering my pregnancy didn’t quite pan out for me.
What I loved was the idea of starting a family, the thrilling adventure ahead, and I knew we’d see this pregnancy through. But in the midst of morning sickness and fatigue, I often thought—if we weren’t so eager for this baby, would I have put myself through this?
My career took a hit. My friendships dwindled. My health, finances, and overall well-being were compromised. To reassure myself, I would mentally list the positives: This baby is planned and healthy. Jake is a supportive partner. I’m not facing any serious medical issues. We’re financially stable.
But those positives only reinforced the notion that, without them, I might have made a different choice. My position in life allowed me to justify my pregnancy, but what about women who don’t share that advantage?
Being pro-choice also brought to light the fragility of early pregnancy. Eager to share our joy, Jake and I announced our news at just six weeks along, well before the typical 12-week mark when the risk of miscarriage decreases. While many celebrated with us, some responded with caution, urging us to temper our excitement until we reached the second trimester.
I realize I tend to surround myself with like-minded individuals. Additionally, I became pregnant during a time when organizations like Planned Parenthood were facing significant scrutiny, making discussions about when life begins more contentious than ever. It was eye-opening to see how some people would have condemned me for choosing an abortion while others wanted me to hold back on celebrating my pregnancy.
One particularly emotional episode occurred when I thought I was experiencing a miscarriage at eight weeks. As I grieved for the family I envisioned, I grappled with who would understand my sorrow. As a pro-choice woman with a planned pregnancy, I recognized my right to mourn the loss of my embryo, while another woman might view those same cells as merely a medical issue. Thankfully, my pregnancy progressed, and I welcomed a healthy baby boy, Leo, seven months later, so I never had to navigate this painful thought experiment in reality.
Being pro-choice doesn’t equate to being pro-abortion. It means women should have the option to decide against continuing a pregnancy without facing judgment. Similarly, those who choose to carry a pregnancy to term deserve to celebrate that choice without fear of scrutiny.
Now that Leo is a thriving five-month-old, my pro-choice beliefs remain steadfast. His laughter and my journey into motherhood haven’t changed my view that implantation doesn’t equate to personhood. I’m thankful I had the autonomy to decide when to expand our family, making it a blessing for myself, Jake, and our little Leo.
For more insights on pregnancy, check out this excellent resource from Healthline. And if you’re curious about enhancing your fertility journey, don’t miss this guide on boosting fertility supplements.
Summary
My pregnancy journey has deepened my pro-choice beliefs, reminding me that every woman should have the right to choose. Despite societal pressures and differing opinions on when life begins, it’s crucial to respect each woman’s individual decision, whether to celebrate a pregnancy or grieve its loss.