In the journey from my own childhood to parenthood, I’ve tossed aside many traditional parenting strategies and adapted my approach to fit my family’s unique rhythm. For instance, in our household, there’s no single leader because, honestly, we’re all too tired for that. Decisions are made collectively because it takes a village—especially when that village includes more than just one person. Sure, everyone contributes, except for the baby, because, well, he’s just a baby. And the cats? They’re just lazy.
However, the clash of past and present parenting styles happens frequently. While we certainly have plenty of insights on what’s best, it’s important to remember that we don’t always need to guide our children. Sometimes, especially as they grow older, we have to let them stumble. If we’re always there to catch them, how will they learn to pick themselves up? (Just to be clear, we always pick up the baby.)
Despite the many ways our upbringing differs from that of our kids, we’ve kept a few tried-and-true methods intact. Here are 12 old-school parenting approaches I still embrace:
- I Don’t Play With My Kids.
Much like my parents, who were busy working, I find myself occupied with chores. Sure, I’ll join in a game of Play-Doh or throw a tea party occasionally, but I also count on my kids’ siblings to provide entertainment. That’s kind of why we had more than one kid, right? - We Don’t Shield Them from Mistakes.
Life is all about choices, and we want our children to learn that every decision has consequences. Whether they pick black walnut ice cream over bubblegum or decide to skip the good stuff, it’s their choice. They’ll either eat it or miss out. We step in only when choices might lead to harm—like buying throwing stars at age four. - Chores Are a Must.
It’s not about the allowance; it’s about understanding responsibility. Our little ones help with small tasks, from picking up toys to feeding the cats. It’s crucial they learn that enjoyment comes from effort—not just waiting for gifts from birthdays or holidays. - We’re Not Their Friends.
We’re parents first and foremost. Yes, we can have fun and bond, but our role is to guide, teach, and support. At the end of the day, it’s not about being their buddy—it’s about laying down the law until they hit adulthood. - No Quitting Allowed.
When they commit to something, they see it through. No backing out two days into basketball practice. Life is about dedication, whether it’s a game or a simple request for a banana. - Own Your Actions.
When mistakes occur, it’s essential to acknowledge them. We all mess up, and I make it a point to model this behavior for my kids, even apologizing when I’m wrong. Accepting responsibility is a vital life lesson. - Follow Through Consistently.
If I say there are consequences for fighting, I follow through. It’s about teaching them that life has rules, just like a boss expects deadlines at work. No sugarcoating here! - Encourage Independence.
As much as I cherish my kids’ dependence, they need to learn to do things for themselves. Whether it’s getting dressed or putting on shoes, I support their efforts while guiding them along the way. - No Interfering in Arguments.
Conflict resolution is a skill, and I can’t always be the mediator. They need to learn how to handle disputes, and I step in only when absolutely necessary. - Respect Everyone.
Diversity is a fact of life. Teaching my kids to respect others, regardless of differences, opens them up to new perspectives and experiences. This is how they’ll grow and thrive. - Family Time Is Sacred.
We prioritize family dinners and outings. These moments strengthen our connections and give us the opportunity to share our lives. Whether it’s a trip to Dairy Queen or a yearly family lake trip, these traditions matter. - Teach the Value of Hard Work.
It’s easy to give kids everything they want, but that doesn’t teach them appreciation. They need to understand that reaching their goals requires effort and determination. Trophies for winning are far more rewarding than participation awards.
Ultimately, we owe it to our children to provide love and guidance that prepares them to be responsible adults who can navigate life’s challenges. Whether you follow old-school methods or modern approaches, the key is to engage and commit. When they grow up, if they choose black walnut over bubblegum, at least they’ll know life has its rules—and it’s all about doing your part, except for the lazy cats, of course.
For more insights into parenting and family life, check out this other blog post on home insemination.
Summary:
In this article, I outline 12 traditional parenting methods that I’ve kept in my own approach, emphasizing the importance of independence, responsibility, and family time. While adapting to modern challenges, these classic strategies help guide my kids in developing essential life skills.