Menu: Parenting
By: Lucy Thompson
Updated: Aug. 18, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 18, 2016
My kids might argue otherwise, but I consider myself a pretty easygoing parent. Sure, we have our rules, and I do my best to enforce them—most of the time. But I’m also open to hearing them out. If they can make a solid case, I’m prone to flexing the rules a bit.
For instance, if my 9-year-old asks me nicely to pick up his dirty laundry because he’s exhausted, I might just do it. And if my younger son wants a lollipop even though it’s not “dessert time,” well, how can I resist when he’s looking so adorable with that fresh haircut and just complimented me on my new dress? Yep, I have pampered kids.
I also spoil them with goodies. While I don’t have a ton of cash to throw around, they still get their share of toys, video games, and ice cream. Honestly, any extra funds we have seem to vanish into their little hands. They are my world, as they should be while they’re young.
But here’s the reality—they’re just kids. They can throw epic tantrums over the tiniest of issues, but that’s because they haven’t quite mastered impulse control yet. Their little brains are still developing, and I try to be patient with them. Sure, I need to provide structure, but I also strive to understand where they’re coming from and empathize with their feelings. It’s definitely a delicate balance.
Plus, they’re just so adorably small right now, and I want to indulge them while I can. So when my 3-year-old asks me to snuggle with him for his nap, how can I say no? And when my 9-year-old has a nightmare, I let him crash in my room for a night—or a week—because…why not?
Maybe I’m a bit of a softie at times. But there’s one thing I won’t compromise on: I refuse to let my kids be rude. It’s not just about teaching them manners; it goes deeper—manners without kindness and respect are meaningless.
So how do I instill kindness in my kids? First off, we have a lot of conversations about feelings in our home. My kids are probably tired of hearing me talk about emotions, but it’s vital. If they’re acting out—whether it’s refusing to stop playing video games, hitting each other, or rejecting their own lunch—I need to understand what’s going on.
Sometimes they can’t articulate their feelings immediately, and yes, they do need discipline when things spiral out of control or they’re hurting themselves or others. But we don’t punish feelings. Once they regain their composure, they’re usually pretty good at expressing what’s bothering them.
By validating their feelings, I’m teaching them empathy, kindness, and love. In turn, they’ve become good listeners—not just to me, but to their teachers and friends as well. My behavior is a model for how they’ll interact with others. If that means I come across as indulgent or coddling, then so be it.
What I want most is for my kids to feel cherished, secure, and loved to bits. I truly believe that showering them with love—filling them to the brim with it—will encourage them to share that love with others.
I’m not perfect, and I’m just figuring out this parenting gig as I go. But I can honestly say that whatever approach I’m taking—spoiling included—seems to be working. My kids are kind, caring, and respectful individuals. One day, they’ll grow up to be good men who prioritize kindness and respect above all else.
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Summary:
In this humorous take on parenting, Lucy Thompson highlights her lenient approach to raising her kids while emphasizing the importance of instilling kindness and respect. By being open to their feelings and allowing for some indulgence, she aims to create a loving environment where her children can thrive and grow into empathetic individuals.