We’ve all felt that spontaneous urge to have another child, even when deep down we know we should probably focus on the little tornadoes currently wreaking havoc in our homes. I’ve witnessed some wild scenarios unfold as people wrestle with their desire to reproduce. You know that eccentric cat lady? She likely began as someone who just wanted one more kitten. And every individual from that TV show about hoarding probably thought they just needed one more phone book before things spiraled out of control.
So, when you’re convinced you’ve reached your limit on kids but suddenly feel the urge to add to the population, here are some helpful do’s and don’ts:
Do engage in some form of physical activity.
Burn off that overwhelming reproductive energy! And when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the gym mirror, let it remind you of the chaos your previous kids brought to your life.
Don’t rush to adopt a puppy.
You know who you are! Yes, they’re adorable, but let’s be honest—dogs don’t even enjoy hugs. Save yourself the expense and the perpetual mess of a dog and resist the urge to go on a pet shopping spree.
Do experience food poisoning.
This will evoke memories of morning sickness and the general discomfort of pregnancy.
Don’t hold any newborns.
Seriously, walk away from that adorable bundle. Sure, they look like cute little clouds of sweetness, but remember—they will eventually transform into toddlers.
Do set your alarm to wake up every hour.
And after waking up, apply vise grips to your nipples for 30 minutes. Pretty self-explanatory, right?
Don’t romanticize those baby pictures of your own kids.
They may seem adorable now, but remember: those sweet infants will eventually become little troublemakers.
Do reminisce by looking at photos of yourself post-baby.
Especially that charming three-day postpartum shot where you feel like Jabba the Hutt and are still wearing a diaper for all the unexpected things happening to your body.
Don’t idealize your youngest as the perfect big sibling.
They will most likely pinch that baby behind your back and ask daily to return them to the “baby store.”
Do invite heavily pregnant friends over.
They’re bound to remind you of the realities of pregnancy and parenthood.
Don’t tell yourself you feel “incomplete.”
You are complete! A new baby will only increase the odds that one of your kids turns out like that quirky Uncle Marvin.
Do evaluate your finances.
Then imagine subtracting $304,480 from your budget—the estimated cost of raising a child to adulthood. Yikes!
Don’t overthink the possibilities.
Just appreciate the little ones you already have and realize how fortunate you are.
Do outline your life goals.
How would another child impact your plans? If it’s not a good fit, focus on what you really want out of life.
Don’t sugarcoat the significant life changes a new baby would bring.
Some might say, “Another child is just another body in the bathtub!” But let’s be real; remember that one time you woke up to find poop in your hair? Yeah, that.
So, if your heart is truly set on expanding your family, go for it! But if your rational self knows you’re not ready for another child and you find yourself caught up in baby fever, keep this list handy. And maybe invest in some vise grips.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this informative resource on artificial insemination kits. And for anyone struggling with fertility, the CDC offers a great overview of infertility statistics that might be helpful.