A man’s tale of trying to rescue his Roomba after it rolled through a pile of dog poop has gone viral for all the wrong reasons. “Last week, our house experienced a disaster that took me some time to process,” begins this epic recounting of a robotic vacuum’s unfortunate adventure, which has captured the internet’s attention with its hilarious misfortunes.
The Dream of Owning a Roomba
Who doesn’t dream of owning a Roomba? This nifty little gadget glides effortlessly across your floors, weaving around furniture, reaching into corners, and tackling area rugs—all while maintaining a quiet demeanor. Many people let it work its magic at night, waking up to sparkling clean floors. Ideal, right?
Unless, of course, you have a fresh pile of dog waste in the middle of your living room. Then, it’s a whole different story. Tom Richards has a few choice names for the calamity that ensues when a Roomba meets a pile of dog poop:
- The Pooptastrophe.
- The Poopocalypse.
- The Pooppening.
“If you’re a Roomba owner, stop everything and pay close attention to what I’m about to say,” Richards warns. “Never, under any circumstances, allow your Roomba to roll over dog poop… Because when it does, you’ll find that it spreads the mess across every surface it can reach, turning your home into what resembles a Jackson Pollock painting—just with poop.”
The Discovery
In the dead of night, at 1:30 AM, he discovered the disaster when his four-year-old climbed into bed at 3:00 AM. “When your child wakes up at 3 AM smelling like dog poop, you’ll soon discover why. You’ll step into the living room and notice a gritty sensation beneath your feet. Then you’ll see it: a brown-encrusted, vaguely Roomba-shaped object sitting proudly in the middle of the floor, glowing green as if it’s accomplished something great. At this moment, your half-asleep state vanishes quicker than a magician’s rabbit.”
“And then the horror sets in. Oh, the horror.”
The Dreadful Situation
Let’s take a moment to appreciate just how dreadful this situation truly is. Anyone who’s ever owned a dog knows that even the tiniest speck of poop can unleash a rancid odor. Now, imagine having that all over your house.
Richards opts to clean his child first, naturally. “You scrub the poop off his feet and tuck him back into bed. But you don’t bother cleaning your own feet because you know what’s coming next. It’s inevitable, and it’s barreling towards you like a freight train,” he laments. “Some might shrug it off and go back to bed, but you’re not one of those people. You can’t sleep with a poop war zone in your living room.”
Realistically, no one in their right mind would ignore this.
The Cleanup
“So, you tackle the Roomba,” he continues. “You toss it into the bathtub for a soak and start disassembling it piece by piece, questioning how you’ve suddenly become an adult responsible for a 3:30 AM Roomba poop cleanup. By now, the mess isn’t just on your hands; it’s smeared up to your elbows. You hear the Roomba emit that dreadful ‘whirlllllllllllllllll-boop-hisssssssss’ sound, indicating that your device is on its last legs, and you realize you forgot to take the battery out before submerging it. More on that later.”
Yes, he submerged an entire electronic device in the bathtub. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
“Oh, and the profanity? You’re not just using the standard curse words; you’re inventing new ones,” he explains. “You’re saying things that would make the devil blush. You hope your child is still asleep because if he hears you talking like this, there’s no chance he’s growing up to be a model citizen.”
The Aftermath
But wait, there’s more. “Then you get the carpet shampooer involved. As you approach the rug—the source of all this chaos—the shampooer seems to chuckle at you. Because, let’s face it, that rug is destined for the trash, folks. But you go through the motions anyway, knowing your significant other loved that rug and will definitely ask if you tried to clean it first.”
And there’s even more to the story, involving more paper towels than any home should possess, a steam mop, and a toothbrush—but you should really read the full tale to appreciate the chaos. There’s a silver lining, though: the Roomba company deemed the Pooptastrophe significant enough to replace the $400 device that met its unfortunate fate in the bathtub.
“I called them and told the truth,” Richards recounted. “My Roomba encountered dog poop and nearly sparked World War III.”
Conclusion
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In summary, the hilariously chaotic story of a Roomba’s disastrous encounter with dog poop at 1:30 AM serves as a reminder of the challenges of pet ownership and the unexpected trials of parenting.