Divorce—it’s a tough pill to swallow, isn’t it? The process leading up to it can often be even more challenging.
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This Is Insane
You can’t embark on the divorce journey without feeling this way. If everything was peachy, you’d be sprawled on the couch, indulging in a Netflix marathon with your partner lovingly stroking your hair. But let’s face it—there’s very little Netflix and definitely no chill. Sometimes it’s a massive blow, like infidelity or financial issues, and other times, like in my case, it’s just that nagging feeling that something’s off. It ebbs and flows, but it’s always lurking. And with social media flaunting happy couples, it’s hard not to feel like you’re missing out on something—possibly joy itself. -
Forget This
I can’t speak for everyone, but many likely hit this stage. You glance at your divorced pals, and sure, the idea of dating again sounds thrilling, but the reality? It’s daunting. The thought of split holidays, birthdays, and the hollow feeling of an empty house when the kids are gone gives you chills. And you think, “Nope, not for me.” -
Seriously, What Am I Doing?
Eventually, the “Forget This” stage returns because something still feels off. In my case, the signs were there even before marriage. We ignored them, rushing past the “Do Not Enter” signs we should have heeded. Our pre-marriage conversations revealed that we saw life through very different lenses, yet here we are… cycling through the same arguments and emotions. We’ve been through mediation more times than I care to admit, and while I worry about the mediators’ livelihoods, I also know that I can’t keep doing this. At some point, you just have to face the flames. -
Ugh, Why Am I Like This?
This stage is deeply personal. I’ve always been a bit quirky—marching to the beat of my own drum, which might just be a little off-key. I’m known to work out in my PJs and have a penchant for feeding the crows outside. But alongside this oddity, I wrestle with profound depression and anxiety. My emotions run deep, and I feel guilty over things that shouldn’t matter. I lose sleep, often torturing myself with stories that only deepen my gloom. There’s no shortage of weird in my life. -
Forget All of You
Our endless cycles of turmoil have led to a reputation among friends as “the couple who just can’t figure it out.” While they may not say it aloud, it’s clear they think it. Now, as we finalize our separation, I’m surprised to find that some have taken sides. I didn’t see that coming! It’s especially baffling since there’s no animosity; we still enjoy each other’s company, which leaves others scratching their heads. Yet, enjoyment isn’t enough. Marriage requires understanding, and when the dust settles, that love we once had just isn’t there anymore. -
Fear is a Thief
I’ve made my fair share of questionable choices, and now I’m often paralyzed by fear. Simple decisions become monumental dilemmas. The thought of dismantling a family hangs over me like a heavy blanket. It’s astonishing how the weight of fear can trap you in indecision. -
Well, Would You Look at That?
This isn’t the same “Ugh, Why Am I Like This?” stage. I’m hopeful that one day I’ll arrive at a place where I can say, “Well, look at me—I’m actually happy!” I want that not just for myself but for my soon-to-be-ex too. Just the other day, while making pasta salad and jamming to music in the kitchen, I felt a flicker of happiness. It may be small, but it’s there, a glimmer of hope amidst the chaos.
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In summary, navigating divorce is no easy feat. Each stage brings its own set of challenges, from grappling with the reality of separation to confronting fears of the future. However, amid the turmoil, there’s always a sliver of hope waiting to be found.