Who exactly is behind these bizarre Oreo flavors, and are they mentally sound?
You know what pairs well together? Oreos and Swedish Fish. Just kidding—no one has ever said that.
In a move that can only be described as an alarming cry for help, the creative minds at Oreo have introduced Swedish Fish Oreos. The food blog The Impulsive Buy managed to snag a pack and described the filling as “sticky, chewy,” and even “slimy.” Delicious, right?
According to a spokesperson for Oreo, “We know that consumers enjoy variety when it comes to snacking, so we create all of our limited-edition flavors to provide surprising new twists on the classics, and sometimes, we venture into unexpected flavor combinations that people may never have thought were possible.” But seriously, who is making these decisions, and do they harbor a deep-seated grudge against taste buds?
Food.com has compiled a list of some truly eyebrow-raising Oreo flavors that further support my theory: someone at Nabisco is in dire need of an intervention. For example, Watermelon “flavor creme.” Seriously? A few seeds could have at least made it interesting.
And then there’s the infamous Halloween favorite that nobody actually likes: Candy Corn Oreos. An executive meeting at Nabisco might have gone something like this:
Exec #1: “What’s that dreadful Halloween candy everyone despises?”
Exec #2: “Candy Corn?”
Exec #1: “Exactly! Let’s roll with it. Happy hour awaits!”
Why not take an obscure ice cream flavor that no one remembers and turn it into a cookie that will inevitably end up in the back of your pantry?
Other signs that something is amiss at Oreo headquarters include the existence of Oreo Thins. Let’s be real: there should only be one true Oreo, and that’s Double Stuff. Regular Oreos should be considered “diet,” and all other variations should vanish into the ether. Whoever is concocting these flavor ideas clearly needs a long vacation.
Enough is enough. Stop tampering with perfection!
Feeling adventurous in your quest for knowledge? Check out one of our other blog posts here that offers insight into home insemination. And if you’re interested in boosting fertility, Make a Mom is a great resource. For more expansive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit UCSF’s Center, an excellent resource.
In summary, the whimsical world of Oreo flavors raises more questions than answers. With combinations that defy logic, it’s a wonder what the future holds for snack lovers. Hold onto your taste buds—and your sanity!