My relationship isn’t as flawless as yours.
After seven years and two kids, I’ve become convinced of this thanks to social media. My feed is overflowing with declarations of undying love: “You’re my soulmate, my little honey bunny!” “My one true love; I couldn’t imagine life without you!” “Every day is better than the last!” Love you tons! You’re the best! Kisses!
Sometimes, I find myself clicking “like” on these posts with a twinge of envy. Other times, I tilt my head and think, “Wait a second. Didn’t she just mention researching divorce attorneys?” And then there are days when I cringe because, honestly, there are times I wouldn’t shout those sentiments from the rooftops—let alone when my husband might not feel the same way about me.
Is it just us? Surely, we can’t be the only ones navigating these rocky patches, letting stress interfere with meaningful conversations, or going to bed upset despite knowing we shouldn’t. Maybe there are others in our boat, but social media screams otherwise.
A friend recently shared a nugget of wisdom that resonated deeply: “You know 100% of your own life, but on social media, you only showcase the best 5%: milestones like your kid’s first steps, your vacation in Hawaii, or graduation day. That’s all others see. While it’s fun to keep up with these highlights, it makes platforms like Facebook feel discouraging. We end up comparing our entire lives to everyone else’s highlight reel.”
So, when the #LoveYourPartner challenge began trending, I watched with a mix of curiosity and dread. Look at all those glowing couples! Look at those perfectly staged wedding pictures! Everyone’s life seemed flawless. Everyone’s relationship radiated joy. Meanwhile, just that morning, I had a silly argument with my husband over something trivial I couldn’t even recall.
Let it be known, I’m not against these chain challenges (though I do feel awkward about passing them along). I participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS and shared my proud mom moments on Mother’s Day. When my daughter received a Sticker Club letter, we gave it a whirl.
But let’s be honest for a moment. These challenges are becoming a bit out of hand, and I’m not sure I can dive in the way everyone expects. We have our perfectly curated wedding photos and radiant selfies, but I’d have to share something beyond our top 5% because that’s not what our relationship often looks like. Sure, it might appear that way on Facebook, but in reality…
Day 1 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
So, we argue sometimes—okay, a lot, depending on the day. It’s usually about money, parenting decisions, or something I said eons ago, like about those dirty socks. Whatever the case, can we just stop talking about it for once?! Today, I nominate any couple who has had a disagreement this month to join in on the Love Your Partner Challenge.
Day 2 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
We’re lost (again) and running late (again), and it’s entirely my fault because I can’t navigate even with Google Maps. Oh, and for the record, one child is always on the brink of sleep (see photo), while the other is screaming loudly enough to keep the other awake (not pictured). Today, I nominate any couple who decides to take a drive just to escape the house for a bit.
Day 3 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
Could a gal get a moment of peace for a glass of wine? No? Wait, maybe I can squeeze something between those snacks. Today, I nominate anyone whose partner does the thumbs-up every time they snap a selfie.
Day 4 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
At 3 a.m., the baby is wailing through the monitor. You can only feign sleep for so long—time for the “Whose Turn Is It?” game. Seriously, whose turn is it? Today, I nominate anyone who has ever wished their partner would magically grow some milk ducts to help with nighttime feedings.
Day 5 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
Don’t worry, my husband is in this picture. That’s him on the phone, letting me know he’s stuck in the never-ending nightmare of California traffic and will be home at an unspecified hour. Today, I nominate anyone who knows what it means to be an “occasional single-married parent.”
Day 6 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
Our baby is about to dive down the stairs, and one of us must save him from disaster. The pasta is boiling over, and one of us must avert second-degree burns. We’re like ships passing in the night. Today, I nominate any couple who can manage a high-five as they dash past each other on their way to heroics.
Day 7 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Jamie Thompson
The kids are finally in bed, and it’s supposedly “sexy time.” You know what’s really sexy? Rest. It’s day seven: let’s just recharge. Today, I nominate any couple who has ever taken “Netflix and chill” literally.
The #LoveYourPartner challenge aims to “celebrate love and promote marriage,” a meaningful message I wholeheartedly support. I’m all for showcasing the beautiful moments too.
However, I wanted to tackle this with a dose of reality: Marriage isn’t just a fairy tale. It’s tough. It requires effort. It’s a daily choice, not just a euphoric wedding day. These clichés are repeated so often because they’re accurate.
At least, that’s how it is for us. Maybe it’s just us.
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Summary
Navigating the ups and downs of marriage isn’t always glamorous, despite the perfect images we see on social media. The #LoveYourPartner challenge encourages couples to share their real experiences, acknowledging that marriage takes hard work, daily commitment, and plenty of humor. Amidst all the chaos of parenting and life, it’s important to remember that love isn’t just about the picture-perfect moments.