When I was on the brink of welcoming my first baby, my midwife offered me some wisdom about the postpartum phase. “You know,” she said with a knowing look, “the first few weeks will be about recovering and bonding with your baby on the couch.” I smiled, thinking I’d be back on my feet in no time.
But she saw through my bravado. “It’s not that you can’t get up; you really shouldn’t. That’s the plan.” I nodded, but I didn’t heed her advice. After a smooth delivery, I felt a surge of energy. Despite the challenges of breastfeeding that often kept me rooted to my couch, I pushed myself to stay active during those early days.
I’ve always been someone who thrives on productivity—why should motherhood be any different? Well, my midwife was right. I ended up exhausted, dealing with postpartum bleeding for six weeks and battling anxiety. When my second child arrived, I decided to follow her guidance to the letter. I had my husband take two weeks off, and I dedicated that time to resting and nursing. It was blissful, and I found myself feeling far healthier, both mentally and physically, than I had with my first.
Reflecting on my two vastly different postpartum experiences, I often wonder why I didn’t take my midwife’s advice the first time. The answer is complex, but it certainly ties into the cultural pressures placed on new moms in America and the glaring lack of support available.
During pregnancy, you receive abundant attention—frequent medical check-ups and support from family and friends. But once the baby arrives, you’re quickly on your own after just a few days in the hospital. You see your doctor again in six weeks, and suddenly, the focus shifts entirely to the baby, leaving new mothers feeling invisible. It’s no surprise that many women feel overwhelmed and unprepared for the realities of motherhood.
We simply aren’t doing enough to care for our postpartum moms, and it doesn’t have to be this way. In many other countries, “mothering the mother” is just as crucial as caring for the newborn. There are cultural practices and governmental systems in place to support this effort. In America, sadly, it’s a different story.
Here’s what we need to change:
- Free Support for New Moms: In several European countries, new mothers receive free assistance at home after their hospital stay. This includes help with baby care, household chores, and breastfeeding support. Imagine the relief of having that kind of support!
- Access to Professional Breastfeeding Help: While lactation consultants should be covered by insurance thanks to the Affordable Care Act, many mothers still face coverage denials. It’s time to close those loopholes and ensure that every mom has access to necessary support without the hassle.
- Paid Maternity Leave: The U.S. is far behind other developed nations when it comes to paid maternity leave. No new mother should be worrying about leaving her baby in someone else’s care just days after giving birth. It’s time we prioritized family over profit.
- Paid Paternity Leave Matters: It’s not just about moms—dads play a crucial role too. Many fathers are forced to take unpaid leave or return to work too soon, which can strain the family dynamic. We need to change that narrative.
- Debunking the Bounce-Back Myth: Studies show that it can take a year for a woman to fully recover from childbirth. However, after a six-week check-up, it seems like the expectation is that everything should be back to normal. We need to acknowledge the reality of postpartum recovery and support mothers through it.
- Support for Postpartum Mood Disorders: Awareness around postpartum mood disorders has increased, yet proper screening and follow-up care is still inconsistent. Finding quality care that’s also affordable remains a significant challenge for many women. We must take these conditions seriously and ensure comprehensive support is within reach.
America, we need to do better. This is the country where I proudly welcomed my children, yet I felt neglected after giving birth. Is this how we should treat our mothers and the next generation? Let’s rally together, pool our resources, and advocate for those who will shape our future.
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In summary, it is crucial that we recognize and support postpartum mothers in America. We must advocate for free help, better maternity and paternity leave policies, and comprehensive mental health care.