As November rolls around, we find ourselves bombarded by the gratitude-industry—a wave of reminders from everyone, including major media outlets and celebrities, urging us to appreciate what we have.
Moms, in particular, are often hailed as the epitome of gratitude, surrounded by beautiful children who fill our lives with joy. Many of us have endured extensive journeys to become mothers, whether through fertility treatments or adoption. It seems we should naturally overflow with gratitude. But is that really the case?
As a mom and a psychologist specializing in anxiety related to motherhood, I have mixed feelings about the pressure to be grateful. A recent editorial in a prominent publication highlighted how the push for gratitude can sometimes feel self-serving. My concern is slightly different. While studies indicate that gratitude correlates with happiness, I’ve seen that the pressure to feel thankful can actually lead to increased feelings of inadequacy among moms.
Understanding the Pressure
Let me elaborate. I’ve worked with many mothers who, despite having so much to be thankful for, feel overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, or sadness. The constant reminders to be grateful during the Thanksgiving season can make these moms feel worse. They recognize their blessings yet find themselves feeling unhappy, which only deepens their self-doubt. They wonder why they struggle to feel content when they have so much.
On the flip side, I’ve encountered moms who find it challenging to identify anything to be grateful for. The gratitude-industry has a solution for that, too. A recent tweet from a mindfulness account suggested appreciating clean air, water, and a warm home. While these are essential blessings, they may not resonate with someone grappling with loneliness or depression.
The Impact of Gratitude on Mental Health
In my experience, the demand to feel grateful can be invalidating, akin to telling someone, “You have [food, clean water, a loving family], so stop complaining!” But we know that mental health issues, like depression and anxiety, don’t simply vanish in the face of gratitude. High-profile tragedies, like the loss of beloved figures, remind us that having everything doesn’t shield anyone from mental health struggles.
In cognitive-behavioral therapy, we emphasize the importance of accepting negative emotions and practicing self-compassion. During the gratitude season, I encourage moms to understand that it’s perfectly okay to feel sad while still having things to be grateful for, or even to struggle to find gratitude at all.
Embracing Mixed Emotions
So yes, I support the conversations about gratitude, but I think they should come with some important notes:
- It’s completely fine if you can’t think of anything to be thankful for.
- It’s okay to feel grateful for certain aspects of your life while feeling indifferent about others.
- And it’s alright to have everything one could wish for and still not feel happy.
Now that’s a message I can wholeheartedly support. If you’re interested in more insights on this topic, be sure to check out our other blog post here. For authoritative information on self-insemination, visit this resource. Additionally, for those seeking a deeper understanding of intrauterine insemination, the NHS provides an excellent resource here.
In summary, while gratitude can be a wonderful sentiment, it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of emotions. As moms, we can embrace our feelings without the pressure to always be grateful.