Menu
Parenting
Let’s Reclaim Halloween, Folks!
by Jamie Thompson
Updated: Oct. 30, 2019
Originally Published: Oct. 31, 2016
In recent years, I’ve become increasingly aware of a concerning trend: a group of party poopers is trying to steal our holidays. You might not have noticed, as they operate in a sneaky way…
This annual campaign kicks off around this time, primarily aimed at the Big Three holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). They despise the joy these celebrations bring, but even more, they loathe the indulgence that comes with them.
Before we know it, we’re bombarded with suggestions like “stick to the veggie platter.” Excuse me? A veggie platter at a holiday gathering? That’s just an affront to anyone who loves a good time. No matter if you’ve been on a strict cleanse leading up to the festivities, if you come to MY party, you better arrive ready to eat… or else.
I’m here to take a stand against these joyless folks. Picture me like a modern-day warrior, channeling my inner Mel Gibson from Braveheart: “They may take our lives. But they’ll never take our holidays!”
Sure, I agree that some holidays have been pushed too far and could use a little moderation. If one more person suggests I create a leprechaun trap for St. Patrick’s Day, I might just lose it. But when it comes to Halloween, I say let’s go all out!
Remember the good old days? The simpler times before social media turned everyone into a crafting expert? Back when Pinterest hadn’t turned our lives upside down? People didn’t make creepy carrot fingers or transform clementines into pumpkins with celery sticks. And let’s not even talk about those “spooktacular” banana creations! That veggie skeleton? Let’s just say it has no place in my Halloween.
Back in the day, we indulged ourselves with treats like Butterfingers, ghost-shaped marshmallows, candy corn, and a whole host of delightful processed goodies. Yes, I said processed!
So how do I plan to celebrate Halloween? I’m taking it back to basics. I’ll be teaching my kids the ABCs of Halloween fun. A) Always trick-or-treat in the rich neighborhoods (obviously). B) Binge on candy (and then binge some more). C) Coconut treats are for amateurs. We’ll focus on houses that hand out the mega candy bars from Costco—none of that homemade nonsense or raisins. Honestly, raisins on Halloween should be banned!
I’ll make sure they choose all my favorites when it comes to candy selection (let’s be real, parents need to enjoy the spoils too). We’ll munch on our loot as we stroll from house to house because hey, it’s good energy! Then we’ll dump it all out at home, count our treasures, and dig in again! I’ll be right there for them when the inevitable sugar crash hits. And I’ll be there when they crash on the bed after watching Hotel Transylvania way past their bedtime. We are rebels (seriously, channel that Mel Gibson energy)!
Sure, the next day we’ll pull ourselves together. I’ll regulate the candy distribution and send the leftovers to our doctor’s office. We’ll eat clean and follow the rules. We’ll reintegrate into society.
But let’s be real—it’s just one day, folks. One day to celebrate Halloween as it should be celebrated!
Are you with me?
To hear more thoughts from real-life moms, check out our blog post through this link. And for additional insights into your journey, visit this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Also, for those exploring family planning, this site is a reputable guide on the topic.
Summary:
In a spirited call to reclaim Halloween, the author laments the rise of curmudgeons attempting to stifle holiday joy. Emphasizing the importance of indulgence and nostalgia for simpler times, the piece encourages readers to embrace the fun and tradition of Halloween, prioritizing candy and festive revelry over health-conscious alternatives. The author invites readers to join in celebrating this special day as it should be—full of treats and laughter.