I’ve been working diligently to feel more confident in my parenting. In fact, I’m striving for a sense of self-assuredness overall, particularly in my role as a mom. I’ve learned to firmly tell the outside world to mind their own business if they think my kids have too much screen time or if they decide to wear their princess costumes to the grocery store. Honestly, I’m over it. If someone whispers under their breath about my kids being wild, I can just roll my eyes and move on. I’m proud of how I’ve stood my ground against negative opinions about my parenting choices.
What I didn’t anticipate was how I would react to a sincere compliment.
A new mom friend of mine recently described me as “an easygoing parent,” and I completely lost it—unfortunately, not in a good way. I panicked, convinced she was subtly implying that I’m lazy or not a good enough parent compared to her. My husband, with a calm demeanor and maybe a hint of amusement, helped me regain my composure. He pointed out that her remark—calling me an easygoing parent—was straightforward and without any hidden meanings. It was simply a compliment.
So, why did I react so strongly to such a harmless statement? Because I struggle to accept compliments.
Whether it’s societal pressures, our upbringing, or the media we consume, many of us find it hard to believe that someone would genuinely say something nice about us or our children. We tend to downplay it. When someone says, “Oh, your kids are angels today,” we often respond with, “You should’ve seen them yesterday!” Or we say “thank you” while our minds are churning with thoughts like, “I don’t know what kids you’re referring to, but it’s certainly not mine.”
I believe many of us misinterpret compliments from friends, family, and even strangers. When someone says your hair looks beautiful, it doesn’t mean they thought you looked terrible yesterday; they are just acknowledging that today, in this moment, you look great. Instead of overthinking it or listening to that negative voice in our heads, we should just enjoy the moment, run our fingers through our lovely locks, smile, and say “thank you.”
The same principle applies to parenting. If your mom tells you your kids were perfect angels while she babysat, believe her. If someone finds it adorable that your son dressed up like a pirate to go to the park, just accept it. If an older gentleman sees you managing your kids at the store and tells you you’re doing a great job, let his kind words resonate—breathe them in, and let them motivate you to keep doing your best.
Let’s agree to start believing in the power of compliments, okay? Let’s choose to accept that when people say something nice about us, they genuinely mean it, and we should take pride in ourselves, our choices, our appearance, our kids, our homes—everything. We are women. We are remarkable beings filled with beauty, strength, grace, and courage. So if someone sees any of that in us and feels the urge to compliment, let’s embrace it and own it.
Starting today, when someone says something nice about me or my parenting, I’m going to hear it exactly as it’s said, tell that negative voice in my head to quiet down, and simply respond with “thank you.” And then, I’ll indulge in an extra glass of wine because, clearly, I’m doing a fantastic job at this parenting thing.
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In summary, it’s crucial for us as moms to accept compliments gracefully. We need to recognize our worth and the positivity others see in us, allowing that affirmation to uplift us. By doing so, we not only boost our confidence but also create a more supportive environment for ourselves and our children.