“What letter is this?” I ask my newly minted 5-year-old. He squints at it, twisting his face in concentration.
“Is it an E?” he replies, sounding quite certain before returning to his toys.
“Nope, it’s a Z, Leo,” I correct him. “The last letter of the alphabet.” You’d think this would be a significant detail.
“Okay, Mom,” he shrugs.
Next, I turn to my 6-year-old, Sam. We dive into Alice in Wonderland, taking turns reading paragraphs. He struggles with a few words but manages to sound them out quite well, making more errors with familiar words than with new ones. We’ve already completed Peter Pan. I genuinely believe in the power of quality literature, and I strive to find books that fit Sam’s reading level and focus.
Now, let’s talk about Leo. Sam had mastered his letters by age three, thanks to a fascination with educational games. Meanwhile, Leo has always preferred more imaginative pursuits. I’ve tried every method imaginable to teach him his letters. We’ve used letter stamps, created art projects, and even tackled Getting Ready for the Code. When that fell flat, we revisited Hooked on Phonics, pairing it with creative crafts each day — from crafting bugs out of pipe cleaners and googly eyes to making big octopuses wearing hats for the letter O. We’ve read every alphabet book I could find.
Yet, nothing clicked. Daily, he struggled to recall what we learned the day before. While Sam zipped through Frog and Toad and into chapter books, my youngest didn’t know the letter A, let alone its sound or how to spell his name.
After countless crafts, videos, and a mountain of worry, I finally took a deep breath, looked at Leo, and accepted the situation. Every child develops at their own pace, and my boys are prime examples of this. Sam’s progress is just as unique as Leo’s. Historically, children entered kindergarten without knowing their letters; I remember singing catchy tunes about “Mr. M with the munching mouth” to help kids learn. In Finland, formal reading instruction doesn’t begin until age 7, and they rank high in global literacy, according to the latest PISA report from 2012. I remind myself that Leo is right on track for his age.
It’s only recently that we’ve come to expect kids to arrive at kindergarten already knowing how to read. Preschool has shifted from play to structured learning, focusing primarily on letters and basic words (like -at and -ot). That’s one reason we opted for homeschooling: I believe early childhood should be about play, not sitting at a desk. Leo hasn’t attended preschool. Instead, he’s spent his time constructing forts with his brothers, making plastic dinosaurs engage in epic conversations, and enjoying storytime. If Finland’s approach teaches us anything, it’s that this play is exactly what he needs.
Whenever I feel anxious about Leo’s progress, I recall a friend who embraced radical unschooling. He didn’t read until he was 10 but eventually taught himself using the works of Charles Dickens. Today, he’s pursuing higher education and thriving in his chosen career.
Leo is making progress. We’ve finally found a reading program that resonates with him, allowing him to learn at his own pace. He’s mastered the first five letters of the alphabet, identifying them and their sounds consistently. At this rate, he should know them all in about two months. After that, the program will introduce sounds. I anticipate waiting until he’s 6 to start a rigorous reading program that strings sounds together into words.
He may be the last reader in our homeschooling group, but I know he’ll catch up eventually. Research shows that late readers perform just as well as early ones. I do feel some family pressure for him to know more, and I often face surprised looks from others when I mention he doesn’t recognize his letters. Yet, Leo seems perfectly content. Sometimes, it’s just me who needs to take a deep breath.
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In summary, every child’s journey is unique, and it’s perfectly normal for children to develop at different rates. Whether it’s letters or any other skill, patience and understanding are key.