Navigating postpartum depression and anxiety can be a daunting journey, as I learned after welcoming my third child into the world. The diagnosis can feel overwhelming, both for the one suffering and their partner. My husband, Jake, felt a mix of fear and helplessness during this challenging time. While he knew I was seeking professional help, he often wondered how best to support me.
The truth is, a partner can play a significant role in helping their loved one cope with postpartum depression. Though it may not be easy, there are effective ways to provide support.
Acknowledge Her Feelings
It’s crucial to validate her emotions. She may struggle with intrusive thoughts that can feel intensely real, making her feel worthless or inadequate as a mother. Instead of trying to argue against these feelings with phrases like “You know that’s not true,” you can offer comfort by saying, “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. That sounds incredibly painful.” Acknowledging her pain can help her feel understood and supported.
Trust Her Therapist’s Expertise
Avoid questioning her treatment choices or the guidance of her therapist. While it’s important to stay vigilant if you suspect any incompetence, it’s also vital to recognize that therapists are trained professionals who specialize in postpartum issues. If you’re curious about her treatment plan, consider asking to attend a session with her, as it may provide valuable insights.
Assist with Medication and Breastfeeding Decisions
If she’s prescribed medication, help her navigate the breastfeeding conversation. Some medications are safe while nursing, and your research can help her make an informed decision. Always respect her choice, whether she decides to continue nursing or switch to formula.
Encourage Rest
After a long day of parenting or working, she may need rest to recharge. Taking care of the baby or other children can be a simple yet impactful way to give her the break she needs to recuperate.
Take Over Meal Prep
Cooking can often fall to her, adding stress to her day. By preparing meals, you not only alleviate this burden but also provide her with nutritious food that can aid in her recovery. It doesn’t have to be gourmet; just a healthy and hearty meal will do wonders.
Ease Screen Time Rules for Older Kids
Sometimes, it’s okay to relax the rules a bit. Allowing older children to watch more TV can give both of you a much-needed break, enabling you to reconnect and recharge.
Don’t Forget Date Nights
Despite her feelings of self-doubt, making time for each other is vital. Even a simple outing can refresh your connection. It might take some convincing to get her out, but it’s essential for both of your well-being.
Use a Baby Carrier
Investing in a comfortable baby carrier can free up your hands while keeping the baby close. This can allow you to accomplish household tasks while comforting your little one, giving her a chance to have some downtime.
Consider Housekeeping Help
Hiring a housekeeping service, even just once a week, can lighten her load and help maintain a clean space, which can positively impact her mood.
Be There for Her
Ultimately, your role as a partner is to provide emotional and physical support while managing the household. It’s a demanding task, so don’t hesitate to seek help for yourself as well. Remember, postpartum depression affects the entire family, and your involvement is crucial in her healing journey.
If you want to delve deeper into topics surrounding family and relationships, consider checking out some of our other blog posts, including this one, which covers various aspects of parenting and support during difficult times.
In summary, supporting a partner through postpartum depression and anxiety requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to step in where needed. Your involvement can make a significant difference in her recovery journey.