There was a time when friendships seemed effortless. I had plenty of pals to waste hours debating who Kelly Taylor should’ve picked—Dylan or Brandon? My friends and I would gather to finish off a box of Franzia while we watched Dirty Dancing, singing and gossiping like there was no tomorrow. I had best friends, almost-best friends, close friends, and friends of friends—a seemingly endless supply. But now? Let’s just say my circle has become much smaller.
Over the last decade, my friendships have naturally dwindled. As I welcomed a partner, in-laws, and eventually children into my life, some relationships faded away. Time is no longer a luxury I possess, and our interests, values, and priorities have shifted. Some friends now live on the opposite coast or even halfway around the globe. I’ve come to realize that true friendship is more about quality than quantity.
I won’t lie; there are times I miss having a bustling social life. I occasionally crave the camaraderie of a close-knit group, and it’s hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy when I see photos of friends enjoying a day out without me. But I’ve learned that true friendship isn’t about popularity or social media likes. I’m grateful for the few friends I do have, knowing they are the cream of the crop.
The Value of True Friendship
This shift in how I view friendships isn’t just about age or busyness; it’s also about experiencing significant life events together. A few years back, one of my closest friends, Sarah, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Throughout our 30-year friendship, we’ve tackled many challenges, but nothing compared to this.
Determined to be a supportive friend, I texted her daily, sometimes multiple times a day. When she needed to vent about her struggles, I was right there with her, sharing in her frustrations with all the expletives I could muster. When she needed someone by her side during her first week of chemo, I flew halfway across the country to be with her—something I hadn’t done alone in over a decade. With the chaos of life surrounding us, we often found moments to connect, texting each other while hiding in bathroom stalls.
Admittedly, I was terrified. How would this new reality affect our friendship? Could I be the friend she needed? As soon as I arrived, she asked if I wanted to see her scars, and in that moment, I realized that our bond remained intact. We then snuck off to her bedroom, where I saw her post-surgery journey.
The following day, we joined her husband for a hospital trip, casually pretending we were just two friends out for a fun day instead of facing a chemotherapy session. We shared laughter, took silly selfies, and I even held a bucket for her during a rough moment. I helped with chores, cooking, and shopping, pretending she was on a detox while she was actually battling cancer. Eventually, I had to return home to my own family, even though I wished I could stay longer.
Lessons Learned
Months later, when I saw her after her treatment, she was in the process of getting breast implants. We dashed into a restaurant bathroom to discuss the details, and then returned to our table to enjoy fries and gossip just like we used to.
While I aspired to be the perfect friend, I often fell short—worrying about my own trivial problems and feeling guilty for not being there every day. I learned that perfection in friendship is a myth. It’s about two imperfect people navigating life’s messiness together. Now, as Sarah’s life begins to stabilize, I see how much we’ve both changed through this experience. Our friendship feels deeper, more genuine, and filled with a new understanding of each other’s strengths and flaws.
It’s clear that while I may not have an overflowing list of friends, the few I do have are incredibly valuable. Each brings a unique strength to my life, whether it’s someone who offers positivity, another who shares cookies and swearing, or the friend who shows up with groceries. Together, they create a beautiful blend of support that embodies the essence of true friendship.
Conclusion
So while our lives may be busy and our friend circles smaller, the friendships we nurture are more meaningful than ever. They are strong, authentic, and the closest thing we have to perfection.
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In summary, while my social circle has shrunk, the friendships I cherish are deeper and more fulfilling, proving that sometimes less truly is more.