When you embark on the journey of motherhood, you’re often bombarded with a plethora of advice, parenting hacks, and countless anecdotes from others about their experiences. After thirteen years in this role, I’ve learned some essential truths—insights that extend far beyond the typical tips about mealtime, sleep routines, or effective potty training. Some lessons have been tough to swallow. There were moments when I had to set aside my pride, and days when I dismissed my instincts in favor of following the crowd. The reality is, there are more significant aspects of motherhood that aren’t covered by conventional wisdom.
Every mother should recognize when it’s time to dig deeper into her own needs or when to step away, perhaps locking herself in the bathroom for a moment of peace or taking a solitary drive. Taking a break is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to strength and self-awareness.
Every mother should be aware that there will be times when her child screams or throws a tantrum, and despite her best efforts, she may not be able to console them. Rest assured, everything will eventually be okay, and this doesn’t reflect her abilities as a mother.
Every mother should understand that it’s perfectly normal not to cherish every single moment of parenting. She isn’t a terrible person if she finds herself counting down the minutes until bedtime.
Every mother should know she isn’t alone in this journey. The initial adjustment can be challenging for everyone, even if they don’t openly acknowledge it.
Every mother should feel free to change her mind about her birth plan, feeding methods, or sleep routines for her child. Flexibility is key.
Every mother should allow herself to slow down, say no, recognize her limits, and give herself permission to release anything that doesn’t nourish her or her family.
Every mother should realize she has the power to alter her circumstances whenever she feels the need, doing so in a way that suits her without needing to justify it to others.
Every mother should prepare for judgment and criticism, no matter her choices. She must remember to forge ahead; she knows what works best for her family.
Every mother should acknowledge that she is enough, that she matters, and she should prioritize her own needs from time to time.
Every mother should remind herself that she will survive the tough days—the ones that drain her completely. She needs to recognize that these days are not the norm.
Every mother should understand that just because someone is doing things differently doesn’t mean they are doing it better. It’s okay to disregard advice, even if it was solicited.
Every mother should listen to her inner voice, especially when it warns her to avoid certain situations, people, or environments.
Every mother should accept that she will make mistakes, but her children will continue to love her unconditionally.
Every mother should know that seeking help is perfectly acceptable, and she should persist until her needs are met.
Every mother should brace herself for long nights. Sometimes it’ll be her baby keeping her awake, and other times it may just be her anxious mind.
Every mother should learn to cope with feelings of regret or inadequacy; these emotions are part of the journey.
Every mother should cultivate a new level of patience, especially with herself.
Finally, every mother should embrace the reality that motherhood will be both the most daunting and rewarding endeavor she ever undertakes.
Above all, every mother should cherish the fact that through her children’s eyes, she is perfect. She is their whole world. Even in moments of self-doubt, she is enough. Even when it seems everyone else has it figured out and she feels lost, she will find her path. And it will always be adequate.
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