Having a large family, I’ve realized that welcoming Baby No. 4 feels like a major milestone. At this point, society seems to decide you need a special license for your “freakishly large” family, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. With Baby No. 4, you undergo a transformation; suddenly, you’re a parenting pro.
Here are some ways my approach to parenting has shifted from the first baby to the fourth (and beyond):
First Baby vs. Fourth Baby
First Baby: Wait, they’re really letting us leave the hospital with this tiny human?
Fourth Baby: Who even watches the discharge video? It’s like 20 minutes long!
First Baby: We had our baby’s name picked out and the crib bedding personalized by the second trimester.
Fourth Baby: The nurse has asked for the birth certificate form four times! We need a name, like, yesterday!
First Baby: I spent weeks researching the best educational toys for newborns.
Fourth Baby: You know what’s really stimulating for newborns? Staying awake.
First Baby: I just adore getting personalized items for the baby!
Fourth Baby: It’s fine if his bib says “Little Miss Sunshine,” right? These towels have his brother’s name on them, but who cares?
First Baby: Why didn’t anyone warn me that breastfeeding is so challenging?
Fourth Baby: (nursing while supervising two older siblings and answering a call)
First Baby: We had our baby last Friday! Did you receive our photo birth announcements yet?
Fourth Baby: Honey, it’s been two months. Can you just post something on Facebook?
First Baby: The baby will be crawling soon, so we need to baby-proof everything—furniture to the walls, gates, outlet covers.
Fourth Baby: Well, the stairs are carpeted, so that should be fine.
First Baby: Oh no, that pacifier fell! It’s dirty now.
Fourth Baby: (glance around, then wait five minutes before popping it back in)
First Baby: Bath time is the highlight of our nightly routine!
Fourth Baby: If I wipe the spit-up off her chin during the next diaper change, she can go a few days without a bath.
First Baby: Oh no, that’s during naptime. We’ll have to change our plans.
Fourth Baby: Whenever works — she’ll just nap in the car.
First Baby: Is everything packed in the diaper bag? Diapers, wipes, snacks, etc.?
Fourth Baby: Boobs? Check. Diaper? Just tossing one in my purse!
First Baby: After months of practice, she’s finally crawling! Look, I have a video on YouTube and 600 pictures on my blog.
Fourth Baby: Does anyone want a bunch of 6-month pants? We’re going for dresses to slow down the crawling!
First Baby: “…and they all lived happily ever after. The End.” Want to read it again?
Fourth Baby: “Once upon a ti—” You kids stop yelling! “Once up—” I said don’t jump on that! “Once upon a—” That’s it! I’m coming up there.
Can you see the difference? Maybe you become more laid-back after your fourth, or maybe you just have less time and mental energy. It’s probably a mix of both.
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Summary
Parenting your fourth baby is a whole different ballgame compared to your first. With each additional child, you tend to become more relaxed and practical, adapting to the chaos of a larger family. You learn to let go of the small stuff and embrace the moment, often in a humorous way.