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I Don’t Have to Speak Like a Proper Lady, Thanks Very Much!
by Taylor Adams
Updated: November 20, 2017
Originally Published: Oct. 21, 2016
Photo by Alex Johnson / EyeEm / Getty Images
I firmly believe that a well-placed expletive has its rightful spot in our conversations. I also stand by the idea that, as a woman, I have just as much freedom to use colorful language as any man.
My kids are well-acquainted with a variety of words, and I’ll admit that many of those have come from my mouth rather than their dad’s. Since they know how to express themselves, I’ve made it a point to teach them that there are right moments and settings for certain words. For example, exclaiming, “Goodness gracious!” when you accidentally drop a spoon on your foot at home might be just fine, but in front of Grandma, maybe not so much.
One thing I absolutely do not instill in my kids is the notion that boys can curse while girls must “speak like a lady.” Absolutely not. That idea is pure sexist nonsense. We all understand that women often have superior language skills, and we won’t be held back because some still cling to outdated beliefs. And let’s be real; those Victorian ladies who seemed so demure were probably muttering some inventive phrases under their breath to their husbands.
Women have fought long and hard for equal rights, and being able to say “numbnuts” without feeling ashamed is one of those victories. Here’s why I won’t be conforming to the “lady-like” standard anytime soon:
- Cursing is fun. Words like “sugarplum,” “cluster fudge,” and “twat waffle” are downright hilarious to use. I challenge you not to chuckle when you say “Sweet baby Jesus.”
- I trust those who swear. Swearing moms, you are my tribe. I know where we stand, and I appreciate the honesty that comes with your colorful language, which I’ll gladly file away for future use.
- It adds emphasis when needed. I’m thankful every day for the existence of Samuel L. Jackson reading “Go the F*** to Sleep.” Because, honestly, kids, just GO TO SLEEP!
- Sometimes, pain calls for a colorful expression. When you accidentally shut your finger in the car door, nothing feels as satisfying as yelling “son of a biscuit!”
- Studies say so. I once read a study claiming that people who swear have a wider vocabulary and are more linguistically adept than those who don’t. Absolutely true.
- You don’t control me. At the end of the day, being a lady doesn’t mean I have to shy away from delightful terms like “dingleberry” and “flapdoodle.”
That being said, I can still act like a responsible adult when necessary. I promise I won’t drop F-bombs around your kids in the grocery store. I’m a conscientious swearer, usually saving the naughty words for appropriate times. For instance, I won’t be taking “poophead” and “Jesus Christ on a pogo stick” to the PTA meeting or church.
But if I stub my toe? Well, all bets are off.
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Summary:
This piece humorously argues against the notion that women should speak more demurely than men, advocating for the freedom to use expressive language. The author highlights the joy and honesty of swearing, while still being responsible in appropriate settings.