We met at a local playground, where our eyes met briefly, and we exchanged glances while sizing each other up. A few minutes later, we inched closer, shared some friendly chit-chat and clever remarks, and before long, we were swapping phone numbers. Our texting began casually, and I must admit, I even did a little online sleuthing to find out more about her. I checked her social media profiles, and I was excited—really excited—about this connection. Eventually, we decided to hang out—nothing too serious, just a casual meet-up over drinks. As the night wore on, we found ourselves engrossed in deep conversations about our families, backgrounds, and interests, until the bar staff had to gently remind us that it was closing time. And just like that, we were officially in a friendship.
This may sound like a romantic tale, but the person in question isn’t some old flame or my partner. Nope, she’s one of my closest mom friends. If this scenario sounds familiar to your dating experiences, it’s because making mom friends is remarkably similar to dating.
The Pick-Up Scene
When it comes to finding new mom friends, locations like playgroups, music classes, and even school drop-offs can feel a lot like a singles bar. You take care to look good—stylish yet not overly dressed up—while you survey the scene, making quick judgments about who you might want to befriend based on their style or how they engage with their children. There’s always that one “cool” mom you fantasize about sharing coffee dates and stroller walks with.
The Opening Lines
So, how do you approach that mom you’ve been eyeing? Here are some conversation starters you might consider:
- “I’ve been thinking about getting that stroller; how do you like it?”
- “Do you know of any great kids’ music classes around here?”
- “Where did you get those adorable boots for your baby?”
Keep an ear out—when another mom asks for your opinion, it may be her way of expressing interest. Think of “Nice stroller” as the mom version of “Nice outfit.”
The Sting of Rejection
I once met a fellow expectant mother during a prenatal exercise class. After bumping into each other repeatedly, we decided to exchange contact information. We scheduled a coffee date, and while I thought she was pleasant, she wasn’t quite my style. After our meeting, I followed up with an email about our conversation, but I never heard back from her. Ouch! I often wondered whether I had been too boring or if she simply lost my info. Rejection is tough—even in the world of mom friendships!
Keeping the Momentum Going
You hit it off great with a fellow mom, but life gets busy, and weeks pass without a playdate. Just like in dating, you have to maintain momentum in these new friendships, or they may fizzle out before they truly begin. A wise friend once shared her “rule of threes”—she always ensures she meets up with someone she likes three times in a short period, preventing that awkward lull from setting in. After those initial outings, comfort grows, and it’s easier to keep in touch.
Unexpected Connections
Sometimes the best friendships blossom in the most unexpected ways. After meeting moms in my child’s class, I realized my initial impressions were completely off. The mom I thought I’d bond with? We barely speak. Meanwhile, the woman I assumed I wouldn’t connect with has become one of my closest friends. Remember, don’t judge a book by its cover.
Family Bonds through Friendship
Why do people date in the first place? Most seek a long-term partner to share their lives with. Similarly, many moms hope that their newfound friendships will lead to the blending of families—where husbands become pals, kids grow up like cousins, and vacations become family traditions. For me, some of my fondest childhood memories come from family trips spent with my parents’ friends and their kids. I want my children to have those same experiences and friendships that last a lifetime.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to the kids, right? If you want to dive deeper into this topic, check out this resource on fertility and consider partnering with Make a Mom for all your at-home insemination needs. Oh, and for more insightful reads, take a look at one of our other blog posts here.
Summary:
Making mom friends mirrors the experience of dating in many ways, from the initial encounters at various locations to the strategies for keeping the friendship alive. Just like romantic relationships, these connections require effort, momentum, and sometimes a bit of vulnerability. Ultimately, the goal is to create lasting bonds—not just for ourselves, but for our children too.
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