When I was 10, I walked into my aunt’s kitchen in New England and overheard a conversation between her and my mom. Their expressions were a mix of shock and disapproval as they sipped their coffee. I couldn’t help but listen in as they lamented, “She’s so inappropriate, dancing in a wedding dress,” and “Those lyrics! I was mortified when I heard them on the radio with the kids.” They were, of course, discussing Madonna’s memorable performance of “Like a Virgin” at the MTV Music Awards back in 1984.
Madonna was my absolute favorite artist. With her bold style and iconic ’80s vibe, she was a trailblazer. While my mom and aunt shook their heads at the music of my generation, I found myself puzzled by their reaction. I didn’t even know what “virgin” meant back then, yet I sang along to her songs in front of my mirror, completely oblivious to the deeper meanings. To her credit, my mom didn’t stop me from enjoying the music I loved; in fact, she surprised me one Easter by including the Beastie Boys’ Licensed to Ill cassette in my basket. She also tuned out the music I played in my teenage years, even when it was not to her taste.
That’s why I choose not to censor music for my own teenagers. Our home is a constant soundtrack of songs. We play music during meals, while doing chores, and even during our leisure time. While my husband and I often lean towards ’80s hits and country tunes, we also appreciate jazz and rap. Our living space is alive with melodies, and sometimes the lyrics can be a bit risqué. My kids know the words to songs like Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and Tone Lōc’s “Wild Thing.” They’ve joined in on Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” and Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” We’ve shared fun moments dancing in the living room, and they’ve rolled their eyes more than once while we slow danced to our wedding song in the kitchen.
Music is woven into the fabric of our family life, and I don’t believe a few explicit lyrics will corrupt them. When they ask about certain lyrics, I answer them honestly. I won’t lie; explaining “my anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hun” was a bit awkward. However, it doesn’t mean I will change the station when those beats drop; after all, they remind me that I don’t need to do side bends or sit-ups, right?
Take the Hamilton: An American Musical soundtrack, for example. My kids are obsessed with Lin-Manuel Miranda’s incredible lyrics, and they listen to the soundtrack non-stop on their iPods. Sure, some songs have explicit content and adult themes, but thanks to Miranda’s music, they’ve developed a deeper understanding of history. They get excited when school lessons connect to the lyrics they know by heart, and they laugh out loud whenever King George III is mentioned, as the musical has made learning enjoyable for them. How can ignoring a few swear words be wrong when it encourages historical exploration?
So no, I won’t be the mom who cringes at songs like “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry or “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO. Instead, while cooking, I might even sway my hips to Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” and I’ll definitely crank up the volume for any P!nk song. The music my kids hear is no more shocking than what I grew up with, and I take pride in creating an environment where they can appreciate the culture and diversity that music brings to our lives—even if Sir Mix-a-Lot sometimes challenges me.
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In summary, I believe that exposing my kids to a variety of music, even with explicit content, fosters open conversations and deeper understanding. Music is an integral part of our family life, and I feel confident that it enriches their experiences rather than detracts from them.