I miss having friends, but surprisingly, not as much as I expected. I still have friends, but they’re not the same as before. With two kids under the age of 6, my social interactions have largely shifted to texting. Phone calls are rare, and actual face-to-face meetings are even rarer.
When I welcomed my second daughter into the world, I envisioned playdates and outings, thinking my life would remain pretty much unchanged from when I was just a mom to my first child. However, that dream didn’t quite materialize. Nursing my new baby became a challenge; any noise or activity around made it difficult, which ruled out breastfeeding in public places. Friends who used to invite us over stopped reaching out, and I felt the pressure to maintain a sense of normalcy for my oldest while juggling the demands of two children.
In the beginning, everything felt overwhelming. Yet, as time passed, I noticed a gradual shift. I started taking my kids out for lunch and grocery shopping, venturing beyond the confines of our home. To be fair, I save the bigger errands for the weekends when my husband can join us. Weekend grocery runs and apple picking have become family outings rather than solo “Mommy and Me” adventures.
Somewhere along the line, my daughters became friends. Just the other day, I caught them sitting together in a cozy huddle, whispering about their favorite TV show while my husband and I watched from the kitchen, amused. Their bond has grown so strong that my youngest has had meltdowns for missing her big sister after school.
Somehow, I’ve found that having two kids can be easier than having one. I can now take quick showers without the constant worry of phantom cries. If something happens, my kids will come running to let me know, which eases my anxiety.
Over time, I’ve adapted to the reality of raising two girls. The years when it was just me and my oldest feel like beautiful memories that require careful preservation. I know I need to cherish these “Mom of Little Kids” years, even when they’re challenging. I told a stranger at a restaurant that if I’d known how wonderful sibling relationships could be, I might have embraced the idea of a second child sooner. But regardless, I wouldn’t change a thing. I deeply cherish the individual time I had with my first daughter, and this spacing has allowed me to enjoy some special moments with my second before she starts school too.
However, my daughters are not my friends. While I enjoy their company and want to foster a great relationship, I still need friends of my own. My time is limited, but I prioritize self-care through exercise, reading, and writing. Nonetheless, I recognize that I have only a few short years to nurture these two girls before they grow up and become more independent.
Before I know it, my husband and I will no longer have diapers to change, and sleep will become uninterrupted. Our lives will return to a new normal, one without the constant care of little ones. I don’t want to rush through these precious years, even if I sometimes wish for a moment of quiet. I don’t want to miss out on doing puzzles with my kids to make a phone call to a friend, even one I miss dearly. For now, texting and keeping each other in our hearts will have to do.
I’m fully engaged in this journey of motherhood, aware that these years with my children are fleeting. My eldest has started calling me “Mom” instead of “Mommy,” and I can’t help but feel like I’ve caught her growing up. While I do miss my friends and the ease of planning gatherings, I’ve found that being a mom is, for now, more than enough for me.
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