It’s a late Tuesday evening, and the house is finally quiet. My partner is working late, and the kids are sound asleep. I glance at my computer and realize how much work I have to catch up on. The list feels endless, but the thought of going to bed early doesn’t sit well with me either. I want to see my partner when they get home in a few hours; if I fall asleep now, we’ll just continue to miss each other like ships passing in the night.
Life and parenthood often revolve around making choices. We constantly weigh our options, prioritize tasks, and let go of some responsibilities, all while feeling a twinge of guilt for what we abandon. Parenting is tough, and so is adulting. Both my partner and I are putting in the effort to make ends meet and handle the myriad challenges that come our way. Let’s face it: adult life is nothing like we imagined when we were kids.
Every day feels like I’m running on empty—whether it’s time, money, or energy. There’s always something on my to-do list that remains untouched, and I’m not alone in this struggle. Everyone is busy, overwhelmed, and trying to carve out time for both obligations and the people we cherish.
This leads us to make choices and establish priorities. We decide what we can forgo and what truly matters. Sometimes that means skipping happy hour to attend our child’s soccer practice, or letting certain friendships fade away. Our social circles shrink, but they become tighter, more meaningful.
With limited time and energy, especially during these early years of marriage and parenting, it’s easy to lose sight of each other amidst the chaos of raising kids. There are nights when I feel completely drained, and the thought of another living being around becomes overwhelming. It’s during these moments of longing for my partner that I realize how essential they are to me.
Creating time for our marriage won’t just happen; I have to actively make it happen and safeguard that time as if my life depends on it—because, in a way, it does. I understand that I may never find enough time, particularly now when life is so full and busy. We don’t have the luxury of regular date nights or romantic getaways. Some days, I count the number of words we exchange on one hand, with our conversations interrupted by our kids’ needs.
Finding that balance is tough, but I’m committed to trying. Sometimes, that means putting my own needs—or even my children’s—on the back burner. This doesn’t mean I love my kids any less. Rather, it signifies that nurturing my marriage ultimately benefits our whole family. My relationship with my partner is the core of our family unit. When we’re not in sync, everything feels off.
It’s essential to remember that we will eventually return to being just the two of us when the kids grow up. If we don’t prioritize our relationship, we risk drifting apart into “you” and “me” instead of “us.” I deeply value our connection and refuse to let that happen.
It’s undeniably hard to prioritize a marriage when both partners are exhausted and stretched thin. But we put in the effort where we can.
I glance at the clock again. It’s late, and I’m weary. Should I succumb to sleep or wait for my partner? Should I prioritize myself or our relationship? I choose us.
Even if it means I’ll be exhausted come morning.
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In summary, prioritizing your marriage can be a challenge, particularly amidst the demands of parenting. However, nurturing your relationship strengthens the entire family unit and fosters a more harmonious home life.