Recently, like many others, I was taken aback by the leaked tapes featuring Donald Trump. I felt a mix of shock and disgust that kept me awake that night, and all weekend long, I couldn’t shake the feeling — it was a bit like witnessing a car accident and being unable to look away.
As a woman, my thoughts immediately went to my own experiences of harassment and unwanted advances, and I realized I wasn’t alone in that. Countless other women shared similar stories. I reflected on what it means for our country to have someone so crude and misogynistic so close to the presidency. It disturbed me that many people were willing to dismiss his comments as “locker room talk,” when, in reality, he was describing acts of sexual assault.
My partner and I spent the weekend discussing our outrage, carefully avoiding the explicit language around our kids. Yet, my 9-year-old son was curious. He had been following the election closely and had already formed his own opinions, labeling Trump as a bully who harbors racist and xenophobic views. I realized it was important to talk to him about what was happening — not just to encourage his interest in politics, but because this is an issue he needs to understand.
That evening, I explained the situation. I didn’t use the exact words Trump did, but I did mention he had used offensive language toward women and talked about exploiting his power over them. I even addressed the shocking statement about grabbing women without consent. My son was visibly taken aback, asking, “Really? Did he get in trouble for it?” I had to explain the complexities of the situation, emphasizing that while Trump might be losing some support, there are no clear consequences unless there’s evidence of his actions.
When he asked if Trump was still in the race, I had to break the disappointing news that he was. Despite the heaviness of the topic, it sparked an important conversation. We discussed how troubling it is for someone like him to be in such a position of power, but we also explored the lessons we can learn from this situation.
In those moments of discussion, I found a glimmer of hope that maybe some good could come from this troubling chapter. Our conversation reinforced the values I’ve been instilling in my son about respecting others, personal boundaries, and the importance of standing against bullying. We also touched on other uncomfortable yet vital subjects.
Reasons to Discuss Challenging Topics with Your Children
To any parents hesitant about discussing Trump’s comments or any challenging topics this election season, here are a few reasons to consider addressing these issues with your children:
- Kids need to hear the truth from us, not distorted versions from peers. Children are naturally curious and absorb everything around them. If they hear about these issues from friends, it may lead to misunderstandings. I believe in providing my kids with accurate information to equip them with the right knowledge.
- It’s crucial for children to see the long-term consequences of bullying. Trump exemplifies what can happen when someone grows up without accountability for their aggressive behavior. If he had been confronted earlier in life, perhaps he wouldn’t have risen this far.
- Children must understand the dangers of the “boys will be boys” mentality. I explained how Trump justified his actions as typical male behavior. We discussed why that excuse is unacceptable and how even in elementary school, similar attitudes can manifest, emphasizing the importance of rejecting them.
- We need to teach our kids about consent and personal boundaries. While these conversations can be awkward, they are necessary. I’ve communicated to my kids since they were young that no one should touch their private parts unless it’s for cleaning or medical reasons, and they should never touch anyone else without permission. Body autonomy is key in our household.
- Kids should feel comfortable coming to us with any questions, even about taboo topics. This is perhaps the most important takeaway. I want my children to know they can approach me about anything, no matter how outrageous or uncomfortable it may seem. They can share anything that makes them feel uneasy, and I will take their concerns seriously.
After our discussion, I asked my son if he thought it was a good idea for me to have talked to him about it. He simply replied, “Yeah,” and when I pressed for more, he added, “So that I will know what not to do.”
So, thank you, Donald Trump, for inadvertently providing a valuable lesson. Let’s hope that parents take the opportunity to discuss these topics with their children and use you as a case study of what behaviors to avoid.
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In summary, discussing difficult topics with our kids, like Trump’s inappropriate comments, is crucial for their understanding of respect, consent, and bullying. It allows us to instill values that will help shape them into compassionate individuals.