Want to get your kids talking about their day? Try sharing a bit about yours first.
Kids can easily launch into long discussions about their favorite video games or the best pizza places in town. However, when you ask them how their day at school went, you might as well be speaking another language. They often respond with a tight-lipped “nothing,” even if cookies are involved!
Take the case of parent Emma Thompson, who faced a similar situation with her reticent son after school. No matter how she phrased her questions, from giving him space to unwind to using open-ended inquiries, she was met with silence. But Emma didn’t give up; instead, she discovered a creative solution. In a recent article for a parenting website, she revealed that instead of directly asking her son about his day, she began sharing her own daily experiences.
Emma described her day as a teacher, including even the dull moments like a paper jam or a particularly busy lunch period. While it might seem boring to recount the ins and outs of adult life, she found it surprisingly effective. “I think my son is curious about what I do when I’m not with him. It’s less about the details of my job and more about the laughter, the challenges, and the interesting people I meet. When I open up to him, he’s more inclined to do the same,” she noted.
This approach is rather clever. After all, nobody enjoys feeling like they’re under interrogation. When we bombard our kids with questions like, “How was school? Who did you play with?” it’s easy to see why they might retreat into their shells. But by transforming the conversation into a two-way exchange, it becomes less of an investigation and more of a friendly chat. Plus, it’s important for kids to understand that we parents have lives beyond just caring for them.
So, the next time your child clams up in response to the “How was school?” question, don’t fret. Just take the opportunity to share your own day.
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In summary, opening up about your own experiences can encourage your kids to share theirs. Instead of direct questioning, create a conversational atmosphere where both parties feel comfortable sharing.