Oct. 9, 2016
At around three years old, my kids developed a habit that drove me absolutely bonkers. They decided to go on a food strike, hardly eating during the day, only to demand snacks all night long until I finally snapped and declared the kitchen closed. My current three-year-old, my little lovebug, is in this phase right now.
Here’s a glimpse of his mealtime antics lately (and I use the term “antics” quite loosely):
Breakfast
He wakes me up at 6 a.m., looking like a little puppy and claims he’s starving. I stumble out of bed to feed him. “How about some cereal?” I suggest. “No,” he replies flatly. I offer waffles, bagels, eggs—the works. He insists on goldfish crackers. We finally compromise on a few pita chips. He manages to eat three.
Lunch
I pick him up from preschool, and he announces, “I’m starving.” Once home, he requests a chicken patty “cut up” (no bun, just the meat). As I’m serving it, he suddenly changes his mind and bursts into tears, saying he wanted it whole. He then demands corn but declares it “broken” (don’t ask why). Next, he asks for a rice cake but refuses it because the plate is “too wet.” Finally, he collapses on the floor, exclaiming all food is “yuck,” yet manages to eat my eggs because, of course, “Mommy’s food is the best.”
Dinner
After the chaos of lunch, I’m not taking any risks with dinner. I whip up his favorites without seeking his approval. He eats at least half a bowl of spaghetti, but the carrot sticks are “slimy,” the hot dog is “sticky,” and the cauliflower? “Mushy.”
You can see where this is going, right? When will this little rascal actually eat something before bedtime?
I understand that some parents believe in the “eat it or starve” philosophy, and I get it. Nobody wants to be a short-order chef. However, it’s also crucial for kids to learn to listen to their hunger cues, even if it’s not at the most convenient time. Teaching them to tune into their own hunger can foster healthy eating habits as they grow, which is especially important in today’s world of rising obesity rates.
That said, if you go too far, your kids might end up living on a diet of only goldfish, toast, and cookies. There must be some structure and rules around mealtimes, and I’m all for that.
But here’s the deal: feeding our kids will never be perfect. They’re kids—fickle, picky, and opinionated. There will be days (or even weeks) when they eat poorly in ways that make you question how they aren’t collapsing from malnutrition.
As you might expect, when my three-year-old eats just a handful throughout the day, he’s famished by evening and ends up devouring everything in sight.
I can’t explain the strange spell kids seem to be under during this phase (trust me, it’s not just my little guy), but sometimes you just have to roll with it. So, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve started letting him have a snack after dinner. And I mean, a full-on meal. He’ll ask for chicken nuggets, tortillas, or even celery sticks right before bedtime at 7 p.m.
I consider this a phase that will eventually pass, so I just go with the flow.
But here’s the kicker. Just when I think he’s finally fed, he gets into his pajamas, we brush his teeth, and settle in for bedtime stories. Then, at 8 p.m., he suddenly announces he’s “starving to death.” (Where do kids even pick up these phrases?) And this, dear friends, is where I draw the line. At least, I’m starting today.
I made the mistake of not being firm about this issue with my first child. Night after night, he’d demand food after brushing his teeth and settling in for bed. I’d try my best to resist, but eventually, I always caved. It became a frustrating cycle, especially since he was a skinny, picky eater, and I’d do anything to get food into him.
But for my youngest—and for any other parents facing this dilemma—here are the rules:
The kitchen closes at 8 p.m.
All the lights are off. The granola bars are snuggling with their little granola bar babies. The cheese sticks are cozy in their wrappers. The apples are huddled together in the crisper.
No more eating. We’re kind, understanding parents here. But you can’t starve all day and then feast all night. You just can’t. And if you end up going to bed a little hungry one night, you’ll survive. I promise.
And who knows? Maybe you’ll actually eat your breakfast in the morning.
For more on parenting and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and learn more about the home insemination kits that are available. If you want to dive deeper into related topics, don’t miss this other blog post for more insights!