Updated: November 12, 2020
Originally Published: Oct. 4, 2016
During my pregnancy, I was a research enthusiast. I dove into every book and documentary I could find, trying to prepare myself for the journey ahead. I made detailed lists, enrolled in classes, and envisioned a beautiful natural childbirth followed by immediate skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding. However, I never anticipated that breastfeeding might not go as planned.
My mother had three uncomplicated natural births and spent a total of 11 years breastfeeding without any hiccups. No problems, no electric pumps—just cuddly babies and lots of bonding time. That was my frame of reference. So, I was completely taken aback when my baby boy refused to latch for almost four hours after his birth. While my midwife reassured me that his throat was irritated from needing meconium suctioned, she expected him to feed soon.
But he didn’t. He would try to latch occasionally but would quickly pull back and cry in frustration. I felt exhausted, scared, and lost. Despite this, his blood sugar remained stable, and he didn’t lose much weight, so we were sent home without much guidance. This kickstarted two weeks filled with sleepless nights, concern, and frustration.
My little guy lost nearly two pounds, despite breastfeeding every two hours around the clock. My husband and I were stunned. After consulting three lactation specialists, we discovered that while he was making an effort to latch, he just couldn’t transfer milk due to his mouth and tongue being poorly configured for breastfeeding. I was heartbroken and utterly drained.
To avoid any confusion, we decided to embark on a challenging journey of pumping, using a tube to feed him alongside my nipple (which required four hands and at least 30 minutes). We supplemented with formula and repeated the exhausting routine every two hours. I was determined to make breastfeeding work, almost to the point of exhaustion.
In a moment of desperation, I simply offered my baby a bottle of freshly pumped milk. To my relief, he was thrilled and drank it eagerly before drifting off to sleep. He started gaining weight again, and I realized that I had another option: exclusively pumping. I decided to give it a shot, and surprisingly, it was much more manageable than our previous routine.
I pumped six times a day, including a night session—finally giving me a chance to catch up on some reading! I mastered the art of sanitizing bottles in just two minutes at 4 a.m., discovered the wonders of hands-free pumping bras, and even pumped while driving. Soon, I was multitasking: pumping, feeding my baby, having breakfast, and enjoying my coffee all at once. It was tough but incredibly rewarding.
Though it took time to rebuild my supply, I eventually pumped 45 ounces daily, and my baby was thriving—hitting the 99th percentile for height and weight. By 12 weeks postpartum, I dropped my night pumping session and started getting some much-needed sleep. My husband and I could enjoy date nights, and he graciously allowed me to sleep in on weekends by taking the night feeds. It was amazing how something that felt impossible at first became so manageable.
I set small milestones for myself: three months, six months, nine months, and then a year. Now, nearing 16 months of exclusively pumping, I’m ready to wean. It’s hard to believe I made it this far. My son is happy and healthy, having only experienced one brief fever in his life. Plus, my husband has had the chance to bond with him through feeding, sharing bedtime routines five nights a week and making special weekend memories together.
These 16 months have been a rollercoaster ride filled with both challenges and joyful moments. I’ve learned that breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Every drop of milk was a gift to my child, whether we had breastfed for a week or many months. Pumping is a form of breastfeeding, and I’ve met some incredible moms who exclusively pump—truly some of the strongest individuals I’ve encountered.
To all the pumping moms out there, I see you fumbling with pump parts in the early hours, washing endless bottles, and managing sore, cracked nipples. I know the feeling of wanting to smash your pump in frustration, yet still committing to another session.
Take it one day at a time. You can do this! Whether you pump for a week or two years, you are giving your baby the best, and you’re doing an amazing job.
For more support and resources, check out this blog post on intracervicalinsemination.com. If you’re looking for expert guidance on home insemination, Make a Mom is a great source. Another excellent resource is ASRM for all things related to pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article chronicles the author’s journey of exclusively pumping for 16 months after struggling with breastfeeding. It highlights the unexpected challenges, the emotional rollercoaster, and the rewarding moments of bonding with her child, emphasizing that every drop of milk is a gift and that pumping is a valid form of breastfeeding. It encourages other pumping moms to take it one day at a time and acknowledges their hard work and dedication.