I’ve always felt a bit unique. As a child, I was often described as “reserved,” yet I didn’t entirely fit the mold of an introvert. I enjoyed socializing, but only up to a point. After a few hours of interaction, I would find myself mentally and emotionally drained, like I had just run a marathon of stimuli.
People often advised me to toughen up, wishing I could be one of those resilient individuals who remain unaffected by the emotions swirling around them — ignoring the sights, sounds, and smells that could easily overwhelm me. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered the term “Highly Sensitive Person” (HSP), coined by psychologist Elaine Aron. I realized that I possess nearly all the traits of an HSP, a characteristic shared by about 15 to 20% of the population. It’s a natural trait, not something to feel ashamed of. What a relief!
Now that I understand myself better, I’m working on crafting a life that aligns with my sensitivity instead of trying to fit into lifestyles that don’t suit me. When I became a mother, I was unaware of what it meant to be an HSP, and I found motherhood to be particularly overwhelming. While new motherhood can be challenging for anyone, for me, it was a sensory overload. I’ve come to accept that I won’t be the mom who can cart my kids around town every day or tune out the constant noise that comes with parenting.
There are certain hurdles I face, but I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Perhaps some of you can relate to the challenges that come with being a highly sensitive mom.
1. Playdates are Draining
It’s not just the chaos of kids playing or the messes they create. Just the thought of planning a playdate can be overwhelming, and juggling adult conversations while managing kids is tough for us. It’s not that we don’t enjoy playdates; we just prefer them less frequently and for shorter durations.
2. We Might Pass on Moms’ Night Outs
I cherish my mom friends, but I often prefer one-on-one time. After a long day of caring for kids, the idea of heading out to socialize can feel exhausting. We sensitive moms crave peace and quiet by the end of the day. A little Netflix and a glass of wine sound much more appealing.
3. We Feel Everything
I can sense when someone is upset, even if they’re trying to hide it. This heightened empathy extends to our children’s emotions as well. While it makes us compassionate, it can also leave us feeling depleted, especially since kids often experience a whirlwind of feelings.
4. Disturbing News Hits Hard
Since becoming a mom, I’ve been particularly affected by distressing news stories. If a child is harmed, I can’t help but envision my own child in that situation. To maintain my peace of mind, I’ve had to limit my news consumption lately.
5. Busy Schedules Are Overwhelming
I used to feel guilty for not wanting to over-schedule my kids with activities. However, I’ve accepted that I’m more of a homebody, and it turns out my kids are too. We enjoy our fun, but we prefer it in moderation. I’ve let go of the need to be a busy mom; it just doesn’t suit me.
6. We Love Our Kids but Need Space
I adore my kids endlessly, but I can’t be around them all the time, especially as they grow more energetic. I spent nearly a decade as a stay-at-home mom, and now that my youngest is heading to school, I realize I could have benefited from more quiet time during those years. For highly sensitive moms, breaks from our children are essential.
What we highly sensitive moms ask for most is understanding; please don’t take our need for solitude personally. Our senses can become easily overloaded, and we require more breaks than the average person. Yet, our greatest strength is our ability to love deeply — be it for our children, friends, or even strangers. If you take the time to understand us, we’ll give you our hearts. Just remember to handle them gently.
If you want to learn more about home insemination, check out this resource for additional insights. For those considering at-home insemination kits, this page offers valuable information. For pregnancy resources, visit the CDC’s pregnancy page.
Summary
Highly sensitive moms face unique challenges, from the exhaustion of playdates to the emotional weight of disturbing news. They crave quiet time after busy days and need to manage their schedules in a way that suits their sensitivity. Understanding and compassion from others can help them thrive in their roles as mothers.