I refer to it as a veil because that’s exactly what it feels like. While it’s not all fabricated, there’s this delicate, beautifying filter that overlays our real-life experiences.
Lately, my mornings have revolved around groggily sipping my coffee at 7 a.m. after waking my three kids, reminding them that it’s a school day, and nudging them to begin their morning routine. I often find myself at the kitchen table, laptop open, and before I know it, I’m scrolling through Facebook.
“What’s on your mind?” it asks me each morning. Well, thanks for the prompt, Facebook. I typically end up sharing a sweet or inspiring quote I found on Pinterest, posting a photo from our latest family outing, or expressing my excitement for the upcoming arrival of baby Lewis. And let’s not forget the occasional selfie — which I reserve for about once a week to remind everyone what I actually look like.
The new “memories” feature is pretty cool, too. I often share a throwback photo of the kids, marveling at how adorable they were and wishing for time to slow down. I’ll post something like, “They’re so perfect!” along with my go-to hashtag #blessed.
A couple of days ago, I had a thought and logged out of Facebook to see how my profile appeared from an outsider’s view. Wow! What a picture-perfect family! I thought to myself. Seriously, we look so sparkly and ridiculously happy in every image.
It’s not that I’m purposefully trying to deceive anyone with my posts. I genuinely dislike negativity, so I aim to keep things positive. But it’s crucial to recognize that there’s so much more to our story than meets the eye — especially when we’re all mindlessly scrolling while sipping our morning coffee, often comparing ourselves to other seemingly perfect families.
I can’t help but reflect on how my Facebook account appeared to others and feel compelled to share some honesty.
The selfie I posted was taken three weeks ago when I actually managed to get a good night’s sleep, and my eyes weren’t puffy. Now that I’m in my third trimester, I’m lucky if I can sleep for more than two hours without being jolted awake by a kick to the bladder or racing thoughts about delivery. Not to mention, my stomach growls at 4 a.m., reminding me it’s been at least six hours since my last meal.
Right now, I’m still in the pajamas I’ve worn for the past three nights, with hair that definitely needs washing because my morning sickness has returned with a vengeance. I just snapped at my kids for opening another box of cereal while three other boxes are already open and going stale. On my browser, I have a tab open for “what is normal vaginal discharge in pregnancy.” I’m so exhausted that I had to be extra careful not to accidentally type that into my Facebook status instead of the search bar. Next to that is our checking account, which inspires a daily sigh as I glance at it with one eye open. There are groceries to buy, school photos to pay for, sports to enroll in, and that “babymoon” we’d love to take before the baby arrives. There never seems to be enough.
But you wouldn’t see any of this in my posts, as that would reveal the truth: I’m not always the optimistic, healthy-eating, yoga-doing, makeup-wearing, all-knowing mom I portray online.
I’m pretty sure the milk I used in my coffee this morning expired last week. And that photo I shared of our family looking blissful at the beach? That was the one shot we managed to capture between my daughter elbowing my son, him rolling his eyes because he’s now too cool for family pictures, and my husband and I bickering about whether ordering pizza last night was a smart choice. Oh, and let’s take another one because my double chin is showing in that one. But hey, everyone smile!
As I said, it’s not all fake. I truly love my family, and I think we’re pretty awesome. I appreciate the ability to share photos with distant relatives and friends through social media. I love posting inspirational quotes, hoping to uplift someone’s day amidst all the political rants and distressing news we encounter daily.
It’s essential for all of us to remember that Facebook (and social media as a whole) is real life, but with a veil. The less appealing moments are filtered out, showing only the highlights of everyone’s lives. So don’t compare yourself while scrolling through your feed. We all have puffy eyes right now. We all have some unusual Google searches going on (don’t deny it!). While we may not all sigh at our bank account balance, we all have our “stuff.”
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In summary, while social media can paint a dazzling picture of family life, it often obscures the realities we all face. Remember, behind the perfect snapshots are real struggles, shared by all of us in our daily lives.