Recently, I found myself sitting quietly, watching my 3-year-old son peacefully nap. Curled up on his side, he looked like an angel, with soft sunlight streaming through the blinds. Observing my children while they sleep is one of my favorite pastimes (I’m sure I’m not alone in this, right?). In those moments, they appear so much like babies. During the day, they zoom around, hardly still long enough for me to truly take them in. But when they’re asleep, I can cherish their delicate features and soak in their essence.
As I watched my little boy napping, I noticed how he still has those babyish qualities — his soft skin and long lashes, with a tiny fist clenched in a dream. Yet, there was something else: his legs seemed longer and tanner, devoid of any baby fat. His face appeared more elongated, carrying a seriousness that hinted at deeper, more intricate thoughts.
With summer rushing by, it struck me that this September, my youngest — my last little one — is turning 4. Realizing how quickly his babyhood is fading made me tear up.
Turning four is different from being 1, 2, or 3; those were the true baby and toddler years. They were filled with diapers (and the transition away from them), learning to talk, and that adorable toddler lingo. They were times of needing naps to avoid meltdowns, relying on sippy cups and finger foods, and ensuring I had snacks and wipes at the ready.
At four, he still needs to be carried sometimes, but he can also walk several blocks. He still enjoys cuddles, but doesn’t ask for them as often. While he can fit in my lap, his longer legs spill out awkwardly. His hair has grown thicker, and I find myself sifting through it to find the remnants of his baby-soft tufts.
Four-year-olds can have their fair share of meltdowns, now with a hint of sass. They still mispronounce some words but also grasp so much more than we give them credit for, even starting to understand sarcasm and humor. Four can occasionally go through a day without a nap, which is a big shift.
Maybe it’s because I’m experiencing this right now, or because he’s my youngest, but I’m really struggling with this transition to four. I’m not ready for it, not at all. Thankfully, I have a 9-year-old (who will soon be 10; let’s not even go there), which means my 4-year-old will still seem small for a while. But I also know how swiftly time passes, and it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed.
So while I can, I’m going to indulge him as much as possible. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. If he doesn’t want to walk the short distance to preschool, I’ll carry him. If a little scrape on his knee has him crying like it’s the end of the world, I’ll scoop him up and shower him with kisses, believing that they somehow take the pain away.
To my sweet sleeping son: please don’t grow up too fast. Let’s take our time, alright? If you must grow, please do it slowly, and with gentle consideration for your misty-eyed mom.
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Summary
The transition from toddlerhood to age four can be bittersweet for parents, as they watch their youngest grow up and shed their baby-like qualities. This stage introduces new independence and changes that can evoke mixed emotions for caregivers who cherish those early years.